- Rob Petrie: What's the problem?
- Laura Petrie: Well, it's this Father of the Week thing. Ritchie's upset about it.
- Rob Petrie: Well, didn't you tell him I'll be there?
- Laura Petrie: Mm-hm. That's why he's upset.
- Rob Petrie: Course that's a pretty big honor, isn't it, Ritch - Father of the Week?
- Ritchie Petrie: No. All the fathers were it already.
- Rob Petrie: I see. I'm the... I'm the, uh, last father to be it, huh?
- Ritchie Petrie: Uh-huh. Next week they start mothers.
- [while on the phone with Laura, Rob and his staff try to reschedule Rob some time away from the office the following day]
- Sally Rogers: Way can't we have tomorrow's meeting today?
- Rob Petrie: Good idea.
- Buddy Sorrell: We can't. We're having yesterday's meeting today.
- Sally Rogers: Rob, why can't we have tomorrow's meeting yesterday and yesterday's meeting the day after tomorrow?
- Rob Petrie: That's possible.
- Rob Petrie: [on the phone to Laura] Look, honey...
- Buddy Sorrell: Wait a minute. We can't.
- Rob Petrie: [on the phone to Laura] Hold it, honey.
- Sally Rogers: Why?
- Buddy Sorrell: 'Cause I get my hair cut on Friday.
- Sally Rogers: Why can't you get your hair cut on Thursday?
- Buddy Sorrell: I GROW it on Thursday.
- Rob Petrie: [on the phone to Laura] Honey, look, tell him we'll arrange it somehow, even if I have to cut Buddy's hair personally.
- Buddy Sorrell: Oh, no you don't. Nobody cuts my hair but my gardener.
- Sally Rogers: Gardener? No wonder his head looks like crabgrass.