- Rob Petrie: How did you get beer and eggs in your hair?
- Sally Rogers: I was attacked by a band of bootleg chickens.
- Rob Petrie: My wife and I accidentally stuck our hands in a pot of dye - permanent dye - and we wore these gloves because we were afraid of what you might think. Or we... we were afraid of what you might think we were thinking. Whadda ya think?
- Rob Petrie: I can't wait till the day when understanding between everybody is such a commonplace thing that they don't have to hand out awards for it. I mean, it seems that understanding ought to be as natural as breathing and you certainly don't give out awards for breathing.
- Rob Petrie: Buy a corsage from... from me.
- Laura Petrie: What should I write on the card from you?
- Rob Petrie: Wha... just say you love yourself and sign my name.