- Superintendent Cottam: No heroics, I don't want you three getting out of your depths and trying anything silly.
- Dave Briggs: You mean like, Bohemian Rhapsody, sir?
- Bob Louis: I tell you what, I'm shaking like a leaf here.
- Dave Briggs: Where's sodding Alice Cooper got to?
- Bob Louis: He rushed off to the bog to swill his head under a tap.
- Dave Briggs: I thought he was gonna have a stroke during My Generation.
- Bob Louis: This is DC Briggs.
- Dave Briggs: MC Briggs. Badass motherkicker, general funkmaster.
- Polish Joe: I didn't catch your name.
- Bob Louis: They call me Old Slowcoach.
- Dave Briggs: Slowhand.
- Bob Louis: Slowhand.
- Polish Joe: So who's the old guy?
- Detective Simpson: Sammy Simpson, The Forces' Sweetheart.
- Bob Louis: [On stage] What the hell are you playing?
- Detective Simpson: Floral Dance.
- Bob Louis: What happened to It's Impossible?
- Detective Simpson: Are you still on that?