- Alanis Morisette/Principal: [to Jay and Silent Bob] You boys are too bloody stupid to make the grade down in the States and your last hope is the school system of the great white north, eh? You want to get oot of grade 12?
- [Silent Bob nods vigorously]
- Alanis Morisette/Principal: You better start learning what the metric system is all aboot!
- Jay: I've got three words for you. Go... to...
- Alanis Morisette/Principal: [smacks him across the jaw with a hockey stick] There'll be no more cuss words out of you, you potty-mouthed mallrats. You're gonna learn the dual languages of my home and native land, or you're gonna savor my poutine. 'Cuz you're in Canada now, eh?