- Mainwaring: [pointing at rude word written on the back of church organs] Do you see this word, corporal?
- Jones: Yes, sir.
- Mainwaring: Have you done that?
- Jones: You mean recently sir?
- Mainwaring: No! I mean did you wrote this?
- [a runaway barrage balloon has caught on the church tower, and the platoon's efforts to free it bring down a rain of debris onto the Vicar]
- Cissy Godfrey: Oh, vicar, do you think this is a judgement on us?
- The Vicar: You speak for yourself, I haven't done anything!