Curb Your Enthusiasm (TV Series)
The Bowtie (2005)
Larry David: Larry David
Photos
Quotes
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Man #2 in Bathroom : [Larry skips a line of men to use a bathroom handicap stall] Hey, whaddya think you're doing?
Larry David : I'm g-g-g-g-going to the b-b-b-b-ba-ba-bathroom!
Man #2 in Bathroom : I don't think so, that's a handicap stall.
Larry David : I have a s-s-s-s-s-s-stutter, you p-p-p-p-p-p-pricks!
[All the men in line yell at Larry angrily]
Larry David : All right, fine, okay.
[leaves the bathroom]
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Larry David : [about Lesbians] I'm their biggest supporter!
Marty Funkhouser : You're their biggest supporter?
Larry David : Yeah.
Marty Funkhouser : Well, then they're in a lot of trouble.
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Omar Jones : ...Muslims are very forgiving people.
Larry David : They are?
Omar Jones : Yes, we are. We're very forgiving.
Larry David : Wh-what?
Omar Jones : Well, it's true.
Larry David : There's a lot of meshugena Muslims out running around, are there not?
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Larry David : [Larry wore a bowtie to a formal dinner party] Excuse me... excuse me! Can you guys keep it down a little bit? We can't hear the waiter, and we're trying to order.
Loud Man at Party : [incredulously] Keep it *down*?
Larry David : We're trying to hear the waiter.
Loud Man at Party : Man, I'm trying to have a good time with my family over here, we're trying... you know what I mean? Not keepin' it down...
[turning to his table sarcastically]
Loud Man at Party : I'm sorry, we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here.
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Larry David : Hey... um, I think I want to go home. Let's go home.
Cheryl David : No! We haven't even had dessert yet.
Larry David : So what? We don't need dessert. Come on.
Cheryl David : Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert.
Larry David : Oh, so what? Dessert, it's no big deal, we can just go. Come on.
Cheryl David : Why do you want to go home?
Larry David : I need to use the bathroom.
Cheryl David : [incredulously] So go use the bathroom.
Larry David : I don't want to use this bathroom. I want my own.
Cheryl David : Why?
Larry David : This project demands I get back to my base. I need my base.
Cheryl David : [exasperated] We're not going home for you to...
Jeff Greene : What's the matter?
Cheryl David : Larry wants to go home to use the bathroom. It's like...
Larry David : Hey Cheryl, what do you, need to tell the whole table? Why don't you get up and make an announcement?
Jeff Greene : What, like you've never done that with me at lunch? It's the craziest thing in the world.
Cheryl David : It's ridiculous. He can use THIS bathroom.
Larry David : You, you're a Gentile, you'd go in the middle of 5th Avenue. It's different for Jews!
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Marty Funkhouser : [referring to his lesbian daughter's new boyfriend] I said, "Dan, this is Larry David." Then I left you.
Larry David : And I said "Hi", I said "Hello." I said "Hi Dan"...
Marty Funkhouser : Yeah... yeah... yeah, what else?
Larry David : You know, little small talk, "how, how you doin', where you from" and all that...
Marty Funkhouser : That's it?
Larry David : ...and then what did I say, I said, "It must be hard, as a guy, to follow..."
Marty Funkhouser : Why didn't you just say, "Hello, Dan. I'm Larry. Nice to meet you."
Larry David : I said that. I said "hi" and then I said that.
Marty Funkhouser : What is wrong with you?
Larry David : Problem?
Marty Funkhouser : Yeah, problem! Now she's back with a woman!
Larry David : [referring to the lesbian patrons in the restaurant] No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there! They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense.
Marty Funkhouser : I want to say something else - you left my party before dessert! How can you do that? It's not proper etiquette.
Larry David : I don't subscribe to the "wait for dessert" rule before you can leave a party.
Marty Funkhouser : No one cares what you subscribe to, okay? We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago, and I said "Larry, would you like to make a toast?" And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit."
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Larry David : This project demands I get back to my base.