Clueless (TV Series)
Kiss Me Kip (1996)
Donald Faison: Murray
Quotes
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Cher Horowitz : [opening lines]
[as Sean cavorts about, they're coming down the stairs from cinema]
Cher Horowitz : Kip Kilmore. I am so smitten. I'm the past tense of smitten. I'm smut.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : He is so come-to-me gorgeous.
Amber Mariens : I am so totally he's type.
Cher Horowitz : [sighs] He is so handsome. And according to the articles, he is such a sweet and good-hearted guy.
Murray : You guys are all buggin', right? This Kip Kilmore character is nothing but some lights and makeup, all right? I heard, in real life, he's five-two, and this
[pointing out hairstyle of cardboard display figure]
Murray : right here, it's a rug.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : How can you say that about Cher's future potential husband?
Murray : Cos it's true.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Jealous.
Murray : I'm not jealous.
Cher Horowitz : Mm-hmm. Kip wouldn't be fake. He's much too fine a person. Anyway, I happen to know for a fact that he's tall, has sky-blue eyes, and does all his own stunts.
Sean Holiday : Oh yeah, and how do you know this?
Cher Horowitz : Because Daddy represents him.
Amber Mariens : [grabbing her arm] Oh my God, you've met Kip Kilmore? Tell me, tell me everything! Was he wearing a jacket?
Cher Horowitz : I know what movie he's doing next.
Amber Mariens : You have to tell us.
Sean Holiday : Come on, spill it!
Cher Horowitz : He's gonna star in the movie version of the Tarantula.
Sean Holiday : The comic book? Oh God! If anyone can be the Tarantula, it would be Kip Kilmore! Unless, of course, they cast me!
[goes through exaggerated action routine]
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Cher Horowitz : [as they speed along in Murray's BMW] Remember, Murray, you're sworn to secrecy about this date-book. If anyone found out, it could be like plutonium falling into the hands of Beavis and Butt-head.
Murray : Did it ever occur to you guys that nobody cares that much about Kip Kilmore one way or the other?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : How could you say a thing like that?
Cher Horowitz : Obviously, you did not see him on Letterman when he got a complete standing ovation for carrying that huge cauldron of soup delivered to... He's heroic and caring. We have to find him and play him that tape!
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Murray : Dee, you're gonna be my short-stop. Because your low to the ground, you got speed, and you got soft hands. Cher, you're gonna be third base, because you're a thinker, you anticipate, you're a leader.
Sean Holiday : Plus, you guys will be closer on the field, so if you feel that female need to gossip, you could do it without disturbing the game.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Murray, what are you talking about?
Sean Holiday : Coed softball starts Sunday. We're gonna slaughter Toluca Lake! Give it to me!
[high-fives Murray]
Cher Horowitz : Boys, boys, this is really nice, but we don't have time for childish games.
[Dee shakes her head]
Cher Horowitz : There must be some other girls you can ask.
Sean Holiday : We don't want to.
Murray : Well, we want to,
[Dee takes an annoyed swipe at him]
Murray : but, heck...
Sean Holiday : You're the only ones who can actually play.
Cher Horowitz : That's really sweet...
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : ...but we're too busy right now.
Sean Holiday : [disappointed] I see.
Murray : [rises] Okay.
Sean Holiday : [follows] I see.
Murray : Fine.
[leaves]
Sean Holiday : Take that!
[plays prank on Murray and passerby]
Cher Horowitz : High school boys just seem so immature next to someone like Kip.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : I know.
Cher Horowitz : I wonder when we can see him.
[consults appointment book]
Cher Horowitz : Dee, look, Kip is shooting Tarantula at the studio lot at five o'clock! We can see him in between takes!
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Murray : Woman, I've got some signals for you to memorize.
Sean Holiday : Yeah.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Murray, we told you, we have adult, mature things to do.
Sean Holiday : [taunting] Oh, that's right. I can't believe that hussy is making Kip cast her as the Black Widow. She cannot act. That is so calculating.
Murray : Dude...
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [to Murray] I told you it is highly classified.
Murray : Oh, come on, he's my best bud. He's got top security clearance.
Cher Horowitz : Guys, if you'll excuse us...
[gets up]
Cher Horowitz : Dee and I have an emergency plan to put into action.
Amber Mariens : [arriving] Ooh, where did you get that yummy Italian leather date-book?
[grabs it]
Cher Horowitz : Amber, give me that!
Amber Mariens : Why, what's the big deal? Yours is probably empty.
[smirks, peeks, inhales breath sharply]
Amber Mariens : Kip Kilmore?
Cher Horowitz : Amber, that's private.
Amber Mariens : [gasps] He is going to be at Beluga tonight. Nobody is to be there.
Cher Horowitz : [snatches back the date-book] He needs his privacy.