Clueless (TV Series)
Kiss Me Kip (1996)
Stacey Dash: Dionne 'Dee' Davenport
Photos
Quotes
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Cher Horowitz : [opening lines]
[as Sean cavorts about, they're coming down the stairs from cinema]
Cher Horowitz : Kip Kilmore. I am so smitten. I'm the past tense of smitten. I'm smut.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : He is so come-to-me gorgeous.
Amber Mariens : I am so totally he's type.
Cher Horowitz : [sighs] He is so handsome. And according to the articles, he is such a sweet and good-hearted guy.
Murray : You guys are all buggin', right? This Kip Kilmore character is nothing but some lights and makeup, all right? I heard, in real life, he's five-two, and this
[pointing out hairstyle of cardboard display figure]
Murray : right here, it's a rug.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : How can you say that about Cher's future potential husband?
Murray : Cos it's true.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Jealous.
Murray : I'm not jealous.
Cher Horowitz : Mm-hmm. Kip wouldn't be fake. He's much too fine a person. Anyway, I happen to know for a fact that he's tall, has sky-blue eyes, and does all his own stunts.
Sean Holiday : Oh yeah, and how do you know this?
Cher Horowitz : Because Daddy represents him.
Amber Mariens : [grabbing her arm] Oh my God, you've met Kip Kilmore? Tell me, tell me everything! Was he wearing a jacket?
Cher Horowitz : I know what movie he's doing next.
Amber Mariens : You have to tell us.
Sean Holiday : Come on, spill it!
Cher Horowitz : He's gonna star in the movie version of the Tarantula.
Sean Holiday : The comic book? Oh God! If anyone can be the Tarantula, it would be Kip Kilmore! Unless, of course, they cast me!
[goes through exaggerated action routine]
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Kip Killmore : [as Mel opens the door] Hi, Mel! How's it going, mate?
Cher Horowitz : [spying, with Dee, from vantage point on balcony, pulling in her breath] He said 'mate'!
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : He really talks like that.
[gushing]
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh, Cher, I must admit, he is true husband material.
[as the two men go up the stairs, Cher groans, shivering with delight]
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Cher Horowitz : [as she and Dee stands posing on the stairs, strained, under her breath] They've been in there for, like, three hours...!
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [grimacing] I know. Just justifying a look for this long is getting to me.
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Mel Horowitz : [coming out of his home office alone, much to the girls' disappointment] Are you two still here? What on earth are you doing?
Cher Horowitz : [both together] We're waiting for Kip!
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [both together] We're waiting for Kip!
Mel Horowitz : He went out the back.
Cher Horowitz : [eagerly] Is he coming back?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [eagerly] Is he gonna do the Tarantula?
Mel Horowitz : Ask his new girlfriend, Summer Bonét. She seems to be calling all the shots.
Cher Horowitz : [as Dee scoffs as well] Summer Bonét? That terrible actress?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh, calling her an actress is being kind. She's a total spokesmodel.
Cher Horowitz : This is so tragic.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Ooh, I can still smell his aftershave.
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Dionne "Dee" Davenport : She has no talent at all.
Cher Horowitz : Her only talent is preying on the hearts of poor vulnerable men.
[sighs]
Cher Horowitz : Like Kip.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Remember when that director of Primal Death left his wife to be with her?
Cher Horowitz : [scoffs] And she made him cast her as the lead in that remake he did of The Miracle Worker?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : And he never worked again.
Cher Horowitz : And then she went with the singer from Locust, and she made him record that horrible duet with her.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : And then the band fully broke up.
Cher Horowitz : [despondent] How could he possibly fall into her web... when he needs somebody who cares for him and supports him?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Ah, that is so Mother Teresa, Cher.
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Mel Horowitz : [answering machine] You've reached the home office of Mel Horowitz, please leave a message, thank you.
[beep]
Summer Bonet : [as the girls listen in] Hello, Mel?
Mel Horowitz : Hello, hello, I'm here.
Summer Bonet : Hi, it's Summer Bonet.
Mel Horowitz : Hi, Summer.
Cher Horowitz : Dee, the machine didn't click off! Oh, it's private, we shouldn't listen.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [scoffs, rises] As if!
[leans gleefully over desk to make the most out of listening in]
Summer Bonet : ...calling to discuss Kip's contract.
Mel Horowitz : Summer, we've been through this before, you're not Kip's manager, and I don't work for you.
Summer Bonet : [sneers] Yeah, and I told you that I am playing the female lead in Tarantula, even if Kip has to stop production to make it happen, okay?
[sneers]
Summer Bonet : Come on, he's a two-bit hack, he's so dumb, he'll do whatever I tell him to. Goodbye, Mel.
[dial tone]
Cher Horowitz : This is a disaster. This is just like when they gave Demi Moore twelve million dollars for Striptease.
[there's something on her chair when she sits down]
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : You knew it was gonna crash and burn,
[Cher is surprised by what she found]
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : but there was nothing you could do to stop it.
Cher Horowitz : [sharply inhaling her breath] Oh my God!
[rushing forward with her find]
Cher Horowitz : I can't believe it! Heart attack! Kip's... date-book!
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [scoffs] Don't taunt me, Cher.
Cher Horowitz : No, it's his, look! Costume fittings, workout schedules, interviews...
[as Dee takes a whiff of the manly scent of the address book]
Cher Horowitz : He must have left it for a reason, subconsciously. Like, he wanted someone to find it, and help him...
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Cher Horowitz : [as they speed along in Murray's BMW] Remember, Murray, you're sworn to secrecy about this date-book. If anyone found out, it could be like plutonium falling into the hands of Beavis and Butt-head.
Murray : Did it ever occur to you guys that nobody cares that much about Kip Kilmore one way or the other?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : How could you say a thing like that?
Cher Horowitz : Obviously, you did not see him on Letterman when he got a complete standing ovation for carrying that huge cauldron of soup delivered to... He's heroic and caring. We have to find him and play him that tape!
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Salon Owner : I told you, he is not here.
Cher Horowitz : Excuse me, we happen to know that Mr. Kilmore is here. And we have a very urgent message for him. We're his lawyers!
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [together with Cher] We're his lawyers!
Salon Owner : Look, if you don't have an appointment, I have to ask you to leave!
[phone rings]
Salon Owner : Salon?
[the two girls glance slyly at each other]
Salon Owner : Miss Einhorn, how are you?
[the girls duck out of sight]
Salon Owner : No, good to speak to you.
[pages through appointment book]
Salon Owner : I'm sure we can accommodate you any time. Tuesday? Tuesday at ten doesn't work.
[the girls sneak past reception]
Salon Owner : Let's look at Thursday. Thursday at five also isn't very good.
[the girls enter the salon]
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Cher Horowitz : [eating lunch at school, surveying scandal sheet] He is so sensitive! This must be so hard for him!
[patting Dee on the arm, imploring:]
Cher Horowitz : We can't give up!
Amber Mariens : [coming over] Did you guys see about those two deranged fans stalking Kip Kilmore?
Cher Horowitz : [scoffs] Did it ever occur to you that maybe they are not stalking him and they are just trying to help?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Not that we'd know or anything.
[Cher echoes this with an innocent giggle]
Amber Mariens : [shrugs] Whatever.
[walks away]
-
Murray : Dee, you're gonna be my short-stop. Because your low to the ground, you got speed, and you got soft hands. Cher, you're gonna be third base, because you're a thinker, you anticipate, you're a leader.
Sean Holiday : Plus, you guys will be closer on the field, so if you feel that female need to gossip, you could do it without disturbing the game.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Murray, what are you talking about?
Sean Holiday : Coed softball starts Sunday. We're gonna slaughter Toluca Lake! Give it to me!
[high-fives Murray]
Cher Horowitz : Boys, boys, this is really nice, but we don't have time for childish games.
[Dee shakes her head]
Cher Horowitz : There must be some other girls you can ask.
Sean Holiday : We don't want to.
Murray : Well, we want to,
[Dee takes an annoyed swipe at him]
Murray : but, heck...
Sean Holiday : You're the only ones who can actually play.
Cher Horowitz : That's really sweet...
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : ...but we're too busy right now.
Sean Holiday : [disappointed] I see.
Murray : [rises] Okay.
Sean Holiday : [follows] I see.
Murray : Fine.
[leaves]
Sean Holiday : Take that!
[plays prank on Murray and passerby]
Cher Horowitz : High school boys just seem so immature next to someone like Kip.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : I know.
Cher Horowitz : I wonder when we can see him.
[consults appointment book]
Cher Horowitz : Dee, look, Kip is shooting Tarantula at the studio lot at five o'clock! We can see him in between takes!
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Murray : Woman, I've got some signals for you to memorize.
Sean Holiday : Yeah.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Murray, we told you, we have adult, mature things to do.
Sean Holiday : [taunting] Oh, that's right. I can't believe that hussy is making Kip cast her as the Black Widow. She cannot act. That is so calculating.
Murray : Dude...
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [to Murray] I told you it is highly classified.
Murray : Oh, come on, he's my best bud. He's got top security clearance.
Cher Horowitz : Guys, if you'll excuse us...
[gets up]
Cher Horowitz : Dee and I have an emergency plan to put into action.
Amber Mariens : [arriving] Ooh, where did you get that yummy Italian leather date-book?
[grabs it]
Cher Horowitz : Amber, give me that!
Amber Mariens : Why, what's the big deal? Yours is probably empty.
[smirks, peeks, inhales breath sharply]
Amber Mariens : Kip Kilmore?
Cher Horowitz : Amber, that's private.
Amber Mariens : [gasps] He is going to be at Beluga tonight. Nobody is to be there.
Cher Horowitz : [snatches back the date-book] He needs his privacy.