Clone High (TV Series)

Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand (2002)

Will Forte: Abe Lincoln, Narrator

Photos 

Quotes 

• Abe Lincoln : Have you ever been so attracted to someone that you're afraid you'll blurt out something stupid?

  Joan of Arc : I have a rash on my back.

• Gandhi : [to JFK]  Party at your place on Friday, right? Rockin!

  Abe : Yeah, psyched for the rager, JFK... dog!

  JFK : I will see you there, and by will, I mean won't! Hahaha!

  JFK : [walks out, comes back in]  'Cause you're not invited. I, uh, wasn't sure if I was clear earlier. So, uh, you're not. Invited, that is.

  JFK : [walks out, comes back in]  To my party!

  JFK : [walks out, comes back in]  Forgot to wash my hands!

• Eleanor Roosevelt : [Eleanor Roosevelt has a rather mannish physique]  It's time for the Presidential Fitness Test! Where we make you even more insecure about your body by judging you while you perform arbitrary physical tasks!

  Abe : Can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt as our gym teacher.

  Joan of Arc : Yeah he's great. Hey Abe, tonight I finally have a night off from the help hotline, which is community service, and I wanted to know if you wanted to carpool to JFK's party...

  Joan of Arc : [Becoming apparent that Abe isn't listening]  You know, to save gas...

  Eleanor Roosevelt : [Interrupts and gets in Joan's face]  You like talking, Of Arc? Well you can TALK your tight little buns on down to the Principal Scudworth's office!

  Eleanor Roosevelt : [Joan leaves, Eleanor Roosevelt watching her]  Slowwwwwly. Ohhhhhh yeah.

• Abe Lincoln : How am I gonna get the beers?

  Gandhi : I've got an idea. Tell him he heard you wrong - tell him what you actually said was "I'll get the *beards*...

  Abe Lincoln : That doesn't make sense.

  Gandhi : But if you think about it, it would still be a pretty sweet party.

  Partygoer : [in Gandhi's thought bubble, wearing a beard]  Whoo! Great party!