- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation.
- Buffy Summers: That's one word three times.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.
- Rupert Giles: No danger of finding those here.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Vampires?
- Rupert Giles: Controlled circumstances.
- Balthazar: You know what I want.
- Rupert Giles: If it's for me to scrub those hard-to-reach areas, I'd like to request you kill me now.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Nonetheless, we may as well keep it from them. Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet.
- Buffy Summers: I will?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pauses] Are you not used to being given orders?
- Buffy Summers: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "Please." And afterwards, I get a cookie.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Ah. This is perhaps Faith.
- Faith: [eyes him] New Watcher?
- Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles: New Watcher.
- Faith: Screw that.
- [she turns and leaves]
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] Now why didn't I just say that?
- Rupert Giles: Eh, Buffy, would you, uh...
- Buffy Summers: I'll see if I can get her back.
- [to Wesley]
- Buffy Summers: Don't say anything incredibly interesting while I'm gone.
- [first lines]
- [pinned to the ground by vampires]
- Faith: So, what, you're telling me never?
- Buffy Summers: Faith, really, now is *not* the time.
- Faith: I'm curious. Never ever?
- [they throw off the vampires and stand]
- Faith: Come on, really. All this time, and not even once?
- Buffy Summers: How many times do I have to say it? I have never...
- [hits vampire]
- Buffy Summers: done it...
- [stakes vampire]
- Buffy Summers: with Xander! He's just a friend.
- Xander Harris: Harvard... Yale... Wesleyan... some German polytechnical institute whose name I, uh... I can't pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? Because I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words "No Way" written in crayon.
- Oz: They're typing those now.
- Rupert Giles: You seem to know a lot about them.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I didn't get this job because of my looks.
- Buffy Summers: I really, really believe that.
- Faith: You're actually gonna take orders from him?
- Buffy Summers: That's the job. What else can we do?
- Faith: Whatever we want. We're Slayers, girlfriend, the Chosen two. Why should we let him take all the fun out of it?
- Buffy Summers: Oh, that'd be tragic, taking the fun out of slaying, stabbing, beheading.
- Faith: Oh, like you don't dig it.
- Buffy Summers: I don't.
- Faith: You're a liar. I've *seen* you. Tell me staking a vamp doesn't get you a little bit juiced. Come on, say it.
- [Faith stops, faces Buffy, folds her arms, and waits. Buffy smiles, hesitates, looks away...]
- Faith: [laughs] You can't fool me. The look in your eyes right after a kill. You just get hungry for more.
- Buffy Summers: You're way off base.
- Faith: Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, after a while, you start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good...
- [jabs her arm and grunts]
- Buffy Summers: Hey, slaying's what we're built for. If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [to Buffy] Well... hello.
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] New Watcher?
- Rupert Giles: New Watcher.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce.
- [sticks out his hand which Buffy ignores]
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: It's very nice to meet you.
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] Is he evil?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Evil?
- Buffy Summers: The last one was evil.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, yes. Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. No. Mr. Giles has checked my credentials rather thoroughly and phoned the Council, but I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well... A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] Is he evil?
- Rupert Giles: Not in the strictest sense of the...
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Well, I'm glad that's cleared up.
- Mayor Richard Wilkins: Do you like "Family Circus"?
- Mr. Trick: I like "Marmaduke".
- Mayor Richard Wilkins: Oh! Eww! He's always on the furniture. Unsanitary.
- Mr. Trick: Nobody tells Marmaduke what to do. That's my kinda dog.
- Deputy Mayor Allan Finch: I like to read "Cathy".
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: As I'm sure none of us is anxious to waste any time on pleasantries... why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol.
- Buffy Summers: Vampires.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yes?
- Buffy Summers: Killed 'em.
- [having meet the new Watcher]
- Buffy Summers: Faith, wait. Look, I know this new guy's a dork, but... Well, I have nothing to follow that. He's pretty much just a dork.
- Buffy Summers: Giles, we need to talk.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Buffy... I must ask you to remember that I am your Watcher. From now on, anything you have to say about slaying you will say to me. The only thing you need discuss with Mr. Giles is overdue book fees... Understood?
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] We'll talk.
- Rupert Giles: Of course.
- Willow Rosenberg: You like it?
- Buffy Summers: It smells good. What is it?
- Willow Rosenberg: Just a little something we witches like to call a protection spell.
- Buffy Summers: Good deal, protection. I'm surprised, though, 'cause usually spell stuff's more...
- Willow Rosenberg: Stinky. Yeah. That's why I added lavender. Give me time, and I may be the first wicca to do all my conjuring in pine fresh scent.
- [last lines]
- Buffy Summers: Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man.
- Faith: No, *you* don't get it... I don't care.
- Joyce Summers: Admit it... Some days don't you wanna just wake up and say to hell with the diet? Wanna make waffles? Big Saturday brunch?
- Buffy Summers: No, thanks. I'm not really that hungry.
- Joyce Summers: So what did you and Faith do last night?
- Buffy Summers: Uh... nothing really important.
- Joyce Summers: Don't worry. I not gonna meddle in your slaying. Just so long as you're careful.
- Buffy Summers: I am.
- Rupert Giles: Are you all right?
- Buffy Summers: I had to lather, rinse, and repeat about 5 million times to get the sewer out of my hair, but otherwise, I'm of the good.
- [to Wesley]
- Buffy Summers: Thank you for asking.
- Joyce Summers: Ya sure about those waffles?
- Buffy Summers: Yeah. But if you want them, I can help you make them.
- Joyce Summers: No. They only don't have calories if I make 'em for you... Mom logic.
- Willow Rosenberg: You know... you'll be facing big, hairy danger.
- Buffy Summers: Uh, b-biggest, and very hairy.
- Buffy Summers: Okay. We got ten, maybe twelve bad guys and one big demon in desperate need of a Stairmaster.
- [Buffy getting ready to take a Chemistry test]
- Faith: No, sh-she can't!
- [Buffy gets up and leaves]
- Willow Rosenberg: Y-You can't! Can you?
- Xander Harris: I feel your pain, Will. Like right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course I'm still waiting to hear back from the corn dog emporium, so...
- [makes ironic hopeful gesture, causing Buffy to snicker]
- Buffy Summers: [to Willow:] Well, I think it's great. Early admission. Now there's nothing standing between you and your brilliant future.
- Oz: Well, if I may suggest: Graduate. Get enough back, not the thrill ride that you expect.
- Cordelia Chase: [arrives] That's so cute. Planning life as a loser. Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge.
- Mayor Richard Wilkins: [laughing] I just love "The Family Circus". That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.