- Cory Matthews: Pregnant? How can she be pregnant?
- Shawn Hunter: Okay, Cory, let me explain this to you. When a man loves a woman...
- Cory Matthews: I know about that, okay? We were very careful.
- Shawn Hunter: Did you use a...
- Cory Matthews: Yes!
- Shawn Hunter: Was she on the...
- Cory Matthews: Uh-huh!
- Shawn Hunter: Well, did you try the...
- Cory Matthews: Everything! I'm not even sure we had sex!
- Amy Matthews: Go talk to the person you love.
- Cory Matthews: [Thinking for a moment] That would be Shawn!
- Eric: [to Amy] You never breast fed me!
- Alan Matthews: Eric...
- Eric: [to Alan] You didn't either! Breast fed kids are skinny, formula fed kids are fat. You know, at first I blamed it on myself. I thought maybe glands, and then I thought maybe metabolism, but then I thought to myself I'm no racist, so it all goes back to you guys.
- Alan Matthews: Listen, Porky, we're in the middle of a serious family discussion here.
- Topanga: Eric, do you think I'm fat?
- Eric: Yeah.
- Eric: [points to pizza] You gonna finish that slice?
- Topanga: You know, you've packed on a few pounds too, Eric.
- Eric: That's alright, you know its college. You've heard of the freshman 15.
- Topanga: You're a senior.
- Eric: Wait a minute. 4 years times 15 pounds, that's like
- [thinks]
- Eric: ... That's 500 EXTRA POUNDS?
- Topanga: You're not that overweight, Eric.
- Eric: Oh come on, I see the way the girls flock to Jack and his 6% body fat and ignore me and my 70% flab. What am I gonna do? I mean I feel so alone.
- Topanga: You're not alone.
- Eric: Oh that's right, YOU'RE FAT TOO!
- [hugs Topanga]
- Topanga: Well Eric, maybe we can help eachother.
- Eric: Well how? We're pigs.
- Topanga: I'll set up the healthy eating plan and we'll give each other moral support. Like, if I want a candy bar I'll come to you.
- Eric: And then, we can share it.
- Topanga: Nooo, you'll tell me not to eat it.
- Eric: And then, I get the whole thing!
- Topanga: No, you'll grab it away from me and you'll throw it in the trashcan. Eric, are you with me or not?
- Eric: Alright, alright but you can't tell anybody that we're dieting, alright? It's embarrassing.
- Topanga: Absolutely I promise, not a word.
- Eric: Not a word.
- Topanga: [gets up to leave]
- Eric: See ya, fatty.
- George Feeny: Unfortunately we live in a society where they tell us we have to look a certain way, so we're all under pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations.
- Jack Hunter: Alright, I can't take it anymore. You know, I'm not really perfect. You know why I go to the gym? It's because in high school, they... well they used to have this little nickname for me. It was Jumbo Jack.
- Eric: [laughs] Jumbo Jack! You were fat!
- Jack Hunter: I was, alright? I just wanted people to like me.
- Eric: Oh, that's alright. I like you, Jumbo Jack.
- Topanga: Eric, okay Eric, we've only been on this diet for twelve hours, toughen up!
- Eric: [straining his eyes] Is that you Topanga?
- Topanga: Come on, it's not that hard - I smell Danish!
- Eric: Topanga, I can't do this, okay? Women reject me based on who I am, not what I look like.
- Topanga: This isn't only about you! I want to be as slim and slender as the day Cory met me.
- Eric: You were two years old!
- Topanga: I'm telling you, there's Danish in this room!