Black Books (TV Series)

Party (2004)

Tamsin Greig: Fran

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fran : Can't you just call her up and say 'I really enjoyed talking to you last night and I'd like to see you again'?

  Manny : [giggling nervously]  Don't be stupid! I don't want her to think I'm gay!

• Fran : [Fran is reading one of Bernard's short stories]  "Feared by men and admired by women; Brendan Blake

  [points to Bernard] 

  Fran : turned from the window and patted Larry

  [motions to Manny] 

  Fran : ; his barely hominoid, milk-fed gimp."

• Fran : Notice anything different about me?

  Bernard : You've turned into a heron.

• Manny : That's the saddest story I've ever heard.

  Fran : The worst part is she's not actually dead, she lives the other side of Priory Road.

• Manny : [having sworn to Fran that he won't tell Bernard his deceased ex-fiancée is still alive]  She's alive! She's still alive! Fran told me! Fran knows her!

  Bernard : Is this true? How long have you known?

  Fran : A couple of years.

  Bernard : I don't believe you.

  Fran : She's in my phone. Look. That's her full name isn't it?

  Bernard : I don't believe you.

  Fran : This is photo of her and me at her last birthday. One of many she'll have, still being alive. These are her dental records. This is her birth certificate. I keep it safely tucked inside the envelope with a photo of her reading yesterday's newspaper and wearing an "I love life" t-shirt.

• Manny : You don't actually have a heart Bernard. Just a shard of ice.

  Fran : Flint.

  Manny : What?

  Fran : I always saw it as a piece of flint.

• Fran : Bernard, why aren't you dancing?

  Bernard : There's no music.

  Fran : Well, sing us a song - you're Irish.

• Fran : Look Bernard, look at my new phone! Look, look, look, look, look! It's got web access, it's got a camera, it can do everything...

  Bernard : Daaggh! Can it stop boring conversations?

  Fran : No, none of them can do that.

  Bernard : Mine can.

  [Bernard picks up his phone receiver and speaks into it] 

  Bernard : Shut up about your phone.

• Bernard : What is this... I'm drinking? It's disgu... It's like a choc ice fell into a bottle of bleach. It's children's booze! What's yours?

  Fran : Bludge. It's quite good, actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.

• Bernard : I bet Manny doesn't know what name you were born with, does he? Have you met? Have you met Enid, Manny?

  Fran : Don't go down this road.

  Bernard : Remember that letter you wrote to your mother as part of the self-help programme? You couldn't find it? That's because I found it and I posted it.

• Fran : Manny, you did get into the Open University but Bernard tore up the letter.

• Bernard : Who else knows about this?

  Fran : Nobody. Hardly anybody. A few people. Mr Singh at the newsagents, and your parents - I told them. And of course at parties if your name comes up.