- Darrin Stephens: I know you, Samantha.
- Samantha Stephens: Oh, really? You only look vaguely familiar to me.
- Darrin Stephens: [about Marshall] What is he doing here?
- Samantha Stephens: I'm his only friend in the neighborhood.
- Darrin Stephens: Well, you're my only wife in the neighborhood. And I thought we'd have a nice breakfast together.
- Darrin Stephens: I'm late, Honey. Something happened to the alarm.
- Samantha Stephens: Well, you might as well relax, Dear. You've missed your train already.
- Darrin Stephens: I have? How do you know? Have you been, uh...?
- Samantha Stephens: No, no. It's watchcraft, not witchcraft.
- Samantha Stephens: Oh, well, hello, Marshall! What a surprise!
- Darrin Stephens: How come? I'm here every morning.
- [referring to Darrin]
- Darrin Stephens: Who's he?
- Marshall Burns: Well, I live here, that's who I am. Who are you?
- Samantha Stephens: That's Marshall. He lives down the street.
- Darrin Stephens: I see.
- [to Marshall]
- Darrin Stephens: Well, you overshot your mark.
- Marshall Burns: It's okay. I can stay for breakfast. But you better not kiss me, because I've got a cold, I think.
- Darrin Stephens: I'm sure there was no great damage done Mrs. Burns. But Marshall shouldn't have disobeyed you.
- Mrs. Burns: Why thank you Mr. Stephens. I'm glad to see that at least you are a sensible person.
- [first lines]
- Brush Salesman: And I give you my personal guarantee madam, that finer merchandise does not exist. These are absolutely the finest bristles ever made.
- Samantha Stephens: No thank you. I already have a broom.
- Brush Salesman: Believe me, lady, you can always use an extra one.
- Samantha Stephens: No thank you.
- Brush Salesman: Toothbrushes, polish up your smile. Never know when people are gonna drop in.
- Samantha Stephens: No, really.
- Brush Salesman: The barbeque, extra stiff bristles for the barbeque.
- Samantha Stephens: I told you, I already have all the brooms and brushes I can use.
- Brush Salesman: That's impossible, lady, no housewife ever has enough brooms and brushes.
- Samantha Stephens: All right, see for yourself.
- Mrs. Burns: [to Marshall] I told you to stay in your room. You have a cold. And if you're too young to realise how dangerous it is to run around with a cold, I should think at least an adult would recognise it.
- [looks at Samantha]
- Samantha Stephens: But he isn't even sniffling.
- [last lines]
- Darrin Stephens: Now how about some dinner?
- Samantha Stephens: Anything you want. You just name it. Chateaubriand, coq au vin, bouillabaisse. I'm going to twitch us up a banquet tonight.
- Darrin Stephens: Sam, you promised.
- Samantha Stephens: Oh. Well, all right. Stop me again... and I'll scramble us up a couple of eggs.
- Samantha Stephens: Wasn't it an exciting day? Aren't you glad you went? I mean, for Marshall's sake.
- Darrin Stephens: Yes, I am. I'm very proud of him.
- Samantha Stephens: And he did it all by himself. You saw that.
- Darrin Stephens: Yes, but you almost slipped.
- Samantha Stephens: Uh-huh. I was crazy about the way you stopped me. Thank you very much.
- Darrin Stephens: The pleasure was all mine.