- Jane Hathaway: So he's finally marrying Elverna?
- Daisy Moses: That's right.
- Milburn Drysdale: When is the happy event?
- Jed Clampett: Well, the happy event was yesterday, when Shorty locked hisself in your secretarial pool. The weddin's tomorrow.
- Jed Clampett: He had to go back to Silver Dollar City. See, with everybody gone, the population dropped down to 24.
- Jane Hathaway: I don't understand.
- Jed Clampett: Well, he's gotta go back to get it back up to 25, so as the town can qualify for government aid.
- Jane Hathaway: I wish we might have said "au revoir."
- Milburn Drysdale: Two of the most beautiful words in our language.
- Jane Hathaway: Chief, "au revoir" is French.
- Milburn Drysdale: I was talking about "government aid."
- Daisy Moses: I'd like to stay and listen to the words of the ceremony. They're so beautiful, they always make me cry.
- Jane Hathaway: Fine. Proceed, Chief.
- Milburn Drysdale: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the joining together of this couple in happy wedlock. As I perform this ceremony, I am struck by the thought that getting married is like opening a joint account at the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills, where you're savings earn a full five percent and...
- Jane Hathaway: Alright Chief, that will do.
- Milburn Drysdale: But, Granny wants to hear the words. They make her cry.
- Daisy Moses: Them don't.
- Jane Hathaway: Granny, Mr. Clampett, what a pleasant surprise.
- Milburn Drysdale: Welcome, welcome, we are honored by your presence.
- Daisy Moses: Was we supposed to bring presents?
- Jed Clampett: I reckon so.