- Jed Clampett: Come on inside and set a spell, Mr. Leroy. Jethro'll fix yer car for ya.
- Leroy Lester: Well, I don't have much money.
- Jed Clampett: Why, you'd insult Jethro if you offered him any money.
- Jethro Bodine: No he wouldn't.
- Leroy Lester: I usually have just a half a can of beans for lunch.
- Daisy Moses: What do ya have for supper?
- Leroy Lester: The other half.
- Jed Clampett: I'm about of a notion that that little fella needs fixin' more than his car.
- Jethro Bodine: Whatcha mean?
- Jed Clampett: Well uh, turns out that we had his name backwards and he didn't have the gumption to tell us.
- Elly May Clampett: He is right skittish.
- Jed Clampett: I believe that a good-sized bunny rabbit could face him down.
- Leroy Lester: I'm not as fast as the machine, especially with this rheumatism in my hands.
- Daisy Moses: Rheumatiz? I got medicine that'll fix that.
- Jed Clampett: What we gonna do about Mr. Lester?
- Jethro Bodine: Yeah, suppose he's still sleepin' when we is ready to start out.
- Daisy Moses: We'll just lay him out front on the grass.
- Jed Clampett: On the grass, with rheumatiz?
- Daisy Moses: I'll leave a jug alongside of him. For a week or so, he won't care *where* he is.
- Daisy Moses: I know what yer up to. You're wantin' me to feel sorry for that little feller so's I'll give up the idea of goin' home and stay here and help him.
- Jed Clampett: That's right. is it workin'?
- Daisy Moses: Yeah. Doggone it, it is.
- Elly May Clampett: [Jethro and Elly are fixing Leroy's car] Trouble must be in that thing up front.
- Jethro Bodine: That's the engine, you dumb girl.
- Elly May Clampett: You better watch out who you callin' dumb. I'm *smart*!
- Jethro Bodine: You're about as smart as *that* monkey.
- Elly May Clampett: Well, that's better.