- Elly May Clampett: A feller on the radio last night said that Beverly Hills folks is bein' robbed by a cat burglar.
- Daisy Moses: Cat burglar?
- Jed Clampett: By doggies, I can almost understand a starvin' man turnin chicken thief, but why in tarnation would anybody want to steal cats?
- Elly May Clampett: Maybe he's got a powerful lot of mice.
- Jethro Bodine: You reckon he'll show up here, Uncle Jed?
- Jed Clampett: [Elly May opens the door and dozens of cats come in] Well with our bait, I'd say there's a real good chance.
- Jane Hathaway: He's gotten away so far with more than a quarter of a million dollars.
- Milburn Drysdale: A quarter of a million? I wonder where he banks.
- Mike Wilcox: Well to me, Mr. Clampett, any man that would steal cats is... well he's lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.
- Jed Clampett: By doggies, young fella, we sure see eye to eye on that.