- Jethro Bodine: Where you gonna sleep?
- Daisy Moses: I can sleep anyplace. I got a warm blanket, a loaded shotgun, and a full jug.
- Elly May Clampett: Do you want a plate of grits and gravy?
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, that'd be fine.
- Elly May Clampett: There you are.
- Jed Clampett: My, don't that look scrumptious.
- Elly May Clampett: Don't it though. I cain't figger out why ol' Duke didn't finish it.
- [Jed was about to take a bite, but changes his mind]
- Daisy Moses: I'm in some crazy town called Las Vegas. This place makes Saturday night in Bugtussle look like Sunday mornin' in Sibley.
- Milburn Drysdale: Did you get him some girls from the secretarial pool?
- Jane Hathaway: This is the secretarial pool, I simply put Jethro's name on the door.