The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
Jed and the Countess (1965)
Raymond Bailey: Milburn Drysdale
Quotes
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Milburn Drysdale : Look, I've run into these international freeloaders before. The longer the name, the shorter the bank account.
Jane Hathaway : But chief!
Milburn Drysdale : Give me a name like Ford, Getty, Morgan, Clampett.
Jane Hathaway : The countess is worth one hundred million dollars.
Milburn Drysdale : Give me a name like Maria de Beauchamp Constantine...
Countess Maria : Why am I being kept waiting?
Jane Hathaway : A thousand pardons, your ladyship.
Milburn Drysdale : A hundred million pardons your imperial highness.
Countess Maria : I'm a countess, not a queen.
[Mr. Drysdale won't stop kissing her hand]
Countess Maria : That is a hand, not an ear of corn.
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Jane Hathaway : The Clampetts will be delighted to see you.
Countess Maria : Oh, how are they?
Milburn Drysdale : Richer than ever.
Jane Hathaway : I believe the countess meant Are they happy? Are they content?
Milburn Drysdale : I just answered that. Richer than ever.
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Countess Maria : You know, I'm absolutely helpless without a chauffer.
Milburn Drysdale : Oh, speaking of chauffeurs, how is Humphrey?
Countess Maria : Who?
Jane Hathaway : The rather elderly gentleman who was driving you last year.
Milburn Drysdale : Yes, after some of Granny's tonic, you married him.
Countess Maria : Oh of course. That Humphrey. Dear sweet man, I lost him soon after the wedding.
Milburn Drysdale : Oh?
Jane Hathaway : What a pity.
Countess Maria : Yes. We were given a huge wedding reception, and I lost him in the crowd.
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Milburn Drysdale : Here's to Countess von Clamp... Holstein.