- Jethro Bodine: I need to talk to you. I got trouble.
- Jed Clampett: What kind of trouble?
- Jethro Bodine: Girl trouble.
- Jed Clampett: What kind of girl trouble?
- Jethro Bodine: The worst kind. I ain't got one.
- Jane Hathaway: Right now, groups like the Beatles are all the rage.
- Milburn Drysdale: The who?
- Jane Hathaway: Beatles. They're the most popular group in the world. Why they get as much as $100,000 for one appearance.
- Milburn Drysdale: They do?
- Jane Hathaway: Yes. Last year alone, they made something like $14 million.
- Milburn Drysdale: Well let's get them.
- Jane Hathaway: For the Clampett party?
- Milburn Drysdale: No, for depositors
- Jane Hathaway: [Jane plans to visit local clubs with Jethro to check out bands for the wingding] I'll pick you up early. That'll give us time to catch The Lizards, The Frogs, The Termites, and possibly even The Moles.
- Jed Clampett: Thanks Miss Jane, but you just worry about the music. Granny'll take care of the vittles.
- Jed Clampett: I dug up all the rockin' chairs we got, Granny, but they ain't gonna be enough for all the old folks to rock.
- Daisy Moses: Well I'll pass around my rheumatiz medicine and them that ain't rockin' will think they is.