- Daisy Moses: I wanna know to the penny my share of Jed's money. Then I can take it outta that fancy city bank and put it where it's safe... in my mattress.
- Daisy Moses: You heered me, Mr. city slicker banker. Jethro cyphered me to have eleven million two hunnerd and fifty thousand dollars a comin', and I want it... in cash!
- Milburn Drysdale: But Granny, I explained to you yesterday how the bank has invested your money and you said you'd sleep on it.
- Daisy Moses: That's what I'm gonna do. Stuff it in my mattress and sleep on it.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: If Claude turns into a delinquent and starts roaming the streets with unregistered breeds, it will be your fault!
- Milburn Drysdale: I don't care if he goes to the park and mugs pigeons!
- Elly May Clampett: You gonna walk all the way to the bank?
- Daisy Moses: No, I'm goin' at a fast trot.