- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Und let me know when you've made progress.
- Benson DuBois: Right.
- [Benson screams]
- Benson DuBois: I hate it when she's right.
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: [Referring to the mansion gardener who is being forced to retire due to his age] He has passed his point of usefulness.
- Benson DuBois: Passed his point of usefulness? Have you seen his zucchini?
- Charlie Rosano: You know, Bens, I don't think I'm gonna do this. I'm just too nervous.
- Benson DuBois: Just calm down, Charlie. You'll do fine.
- Charlie Rosano: Yeah, but this is so important. What if I say something dumb?
- Benson DuBois: Don't worry about it. They'll think you're the weatherman.
- Benson DuBois: Well, you know, I've thought for years that you should be on TV.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: Oh? Like Julia Child?
- Benson DuBois: No. Like Wild Kingdom.