- Miss Pearl: I went swimming in my birthday suit in the pond down by the weir./I saw you there, I said, "Go away!"
- Dickey Dido: But I pretended not to hear.
- Miss Pearl: I said, "If you don't go, I'll stay in the water till it gets dark."
- Dickey Dido: I said, "Don't worry about me, ma'am, I just came to feed the shark."
- Benny Hill: Oh Gus, the gardener's left now/and you went with him too./The fungus here reminds me of the fun Gus is having with you.
- Benny Hill: But you had friends that needed you. There was Ferdie, there was Liza./ So just for them, I put down a load of fertilizer.
- Cyril: Listen, you'd better pack that flirting and all that stuff. You'd better pack it up, otherwise...
- Older woman: Otherwise what?
- Cyril: So help me, I'll kiss you!
- Older woman: So kiss me, I'll help you!