The Benny Hill Show (TV Series)
Show 20 (1974)
Benny Hill: Self - Host, Various
Photos
Quotes
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Lesley Goldie : Welcome to London, Mr. Speiler.
Sam Speiler : It is an honour and a pleasure.
Lesley Goldie : It's an honour and a pleasure for us.
Sam Speiler : That's what I meant.
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Lesley Goldie : Nearly all your films star men rather than women. Are you against actresses?
Sam Speiler : Not as often as I'd like to be.
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Sam Speiler : I think it all stems back to the days when I made my first cowboy film and I had the actress, Victoria Vee foisted on me. She was named after your Queen Victoria, and not so damn long after, either.
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Lesley Goldie : She looked like a cowgirl?
Sam Speiler : She looked more like a girl cow!
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Sam Speiler : She was big! 36 inches... each one!
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Angelica as Mae West : Well hello there, handsome.
Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : Why jumpin' Jehoshaphat! As I live and breath... heavily. Haven't seen anything like that since I was weaned. Ivor Little John, Ma'am.
Angelica as Mae West : Well, we all have our problems.
Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : Don't think I've had the pleasure.
Angelica as Mae West : Then you don't know what you're missin'.
bartender : Her name's Angelica.
Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : Angelica, oh what a euphemous appellation.
Angelica as Mae West : My friends call be "Angel" for short... but not for long.
Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : Then it's true what they say about you, Ma'am. You're a scarlet woman, you're cheap, you're common, you're promiscuous, you're permissive. I like that in a girl.
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Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : Young man, I have just been involved in a fracas. A veritable montage of fisticuffs.
bartender : Who was you fightin', Mr. Little John?
Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : Uh, you heard of Mark Magoulis, the Milwaulkee Mauler?
bar patron : Why sure.
Ivor Little John as W.C. Fields : His mother.
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Ivor Little John as W.C.Fields : My father was a Mayor.
Angelica as Mae West : What was your mother? A jockey?
Ivor Little John as W.C.Fields : Why, I'll have you know. my father fought the last of the Mohicoans. My father made the Brooklyn Bridge. My father made the Empire State Buiding. What did you father ever make?
Angelica as Mae West : Look me over, Big Boy. Look me over. Now, come up to my room for a little Scotch and sofa.
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El Sidney : My wife has got a figure like a Venus... pencil.
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El Sidney : If I come home early, the wife think's I'm after something. If I come home late, she thinks I've had it... and she's right!
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El Sidney : My philosophy is: Live every day as if it was your last, 'cause one day, you'll be right.
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El Sidney : I said to the wife, "Go out and see if it's raining." She says, "Call the dog in and see if it's wet."
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El Sidney : You know who's got no imagination? The parents of Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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El Sidney : Woke up this morning, had a cup of coffee with two lumps... the wife and her mother.