- Margaret Wyborn: Oh, this stuff about bad things happening in threes is just a silly superstition.
- Linda: Oh, yeah? Tell that to my Aunt Hildie, who fell off Mt. Everest after being kicked by a yak!
- Margaret Wyborn: That's only two bad things.
- Linda: The yak kicked her twice.
- Linda: Bad things come in threes - look it up in the dictionary!
- Margaret Wyborn: Under what?
- Linda: Under all those other books there.
- Bob: What is it - my cologne? My leather jacket? My Cabbage Patch Doll collection?
- Jake Malinak: Excuse me?
- Bob: They're a good investment!
- Dr. John Becker: [Bringing a blanket to Chris on her hospital bed] Told ya I'd find one! Guy I took it from was cold - take more than a blanket to warm HIM up!
- Dr. John Becker: You ever have bad dreams?
- Margaret Wyborn: Sometimes I dream I'm trapped under a giant blob of mashed potatoes, but then I wake up and find Louis on top of me.
- Dr. John Becker: Well, THAT got the image of Mr. Parker's blistered ass out of my head!
- Bob: Or, you could look up her mother and see if she has a big ass.
- Dr. John Becker: How's THAT supposed to help?
- Bob: Then you can see if you dodged a bullet.
- Jake Malinak: What if her mother's got a GREAT ass?
- Bob: Then you hit on the mother - whaddya want from me?