The Batman (TV Series)

The Bat in the Belfry (2004)

Kevin Michael Richardson: Joker

Quotes 

• The Joker : Stop me if you've heard this one: Two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. One says to the other...

  Batman : Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?

  The Joker : You call that a punch line?

  Batman : I don't share your sense of humor.

• The Joker : Stop me if you've heard this one, Batman: Two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. One says to the other...

  Batman : Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?

  The Joker : You call that a punch line?

  Batman : I don't share your sense of humour.

  The Joker : Yet we're linked, you and I. Like comedy and tragedy. Two sides, same coin.

  Batman : The gas, Joker, or I vow I will turn your smile upside down.

  The Joker : Well, if it's gas you want...

  [He throws a playing card at a brown bag, which falls to the stage floor. Batman dodges it in time] 

  The Joker : Place all tray tables in their upright positions.

  [Joker laughs maniacally] 

• The Joker : They all said I was sick in the head. They said I needed help. Well, maybe I am a bit batty. Blame it on the bats in my belfry.

  [Joker laughs maniacally] 

• Batman : Stop this thing, Joker.

  The Joker : With what brakes?

  [They begin fighting] 

• Arkham Orderly : Steiner, check. McSwain, check. 2-23 vacant.

  [the orderly sees a figure with green hair in cell 2-23] 

  Arkham Orderly : Hey. No-one logged any new arrivals.

  [He opens the cell door] 

  Arkham Orderly : Whoa! What are you doing in here? What the...?

  [the figure also has white feet, yellow teeth and red eyes] 

  The Joker : I was feeling a bit screwloose, so I checked myself in.

  Arkham Orderly : Who? Who are you?

  The Joker : [pulls out a playing card from his long sleeve]  My card.

  [He cackles maniacally] 

  Arkham Orderly : No. No, no, no!

  [the figure sprays green gas at the orderly] 

• The Joker : You have made me one very sad clown.

  [discovers that Batman is gone] 

  The Joker : Where'd you go?

  Batman : Knock-knock.

  The Joker : Who's... there?

  [Batman punches Joker] 

• The Joker : [while fighting Batman]  You know, I really love this place. My old hideout's a shambles. And these digs just scream me!

  [after fighting Batman] 

  The Joker : Okay, take back the asylum! But mark my words: this town has happy days ahead!

• The Joker : Takes after his pa, wouldn't you say?

  [Batman comes face-to-face with Joker, a clown with white skin, green hair and a huge red grin on his face] 

  Batman : What did you do to him?

  The Joker : Just some laughing gas, drag. Don't tell me you're not an inmate.

  [jumps down] 

  The Joker : What rational being dresses like you? Speaking of threads, think this is a good look for me?

  Batman : Who are you?

  The Joker : Joker.

  Batman : Not what. Who?

  [Batman places one hand on Joker's face. There is no sign of white paint on his hand] 

  The Joker : Smear-free. It's perma-clown! Ooh, tough crowd. Look. Nothing up my sleeves. Ha, ha. Nothing that won't put a smile on your face. Say cheese!

  [Batman throws a batarang, which knocks Joker's weapon out of his hand] 

  The Joker : I'm out of gas.

  Batman : And I'm out of patience!

  [Batman punches Joker] 

  The Joker : You really know how to spoil a coming-out party. How do you expect me to spread mirth and whimsy without a proper hideout?

  Batman : Listen, Joker, you're sick. You need help.

  The Joker : Well, maybe I am a little off.

  [kicks Batman] 

  The Joker : But what are you gonna do, lock me in the loony bin? I'm already here!