Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Be a Clown (1992)

Mark Hamill: The Joker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jordan Hill : [after Batman breaks free from a straightjacket]  He did it! He got free!

  The Joker : They don't make straightjackets like they used to. I should know.

• Timmy Frye : [Joker holds up a dynamite]  What's that?

  Fake Jekko (The Joker) : It's a candle Einstein, except this one blows you out.

• Mayor Hamilton Hill : What just happened was an isolated incident. There are just a few rotten apples giving an otherwise peaceful community a bad name.

  Summer Gleason : Do you include Batman in those "rotten apples", mayor?

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : Absolutely. He and criminals like the Joker are cut from the same cloth.

  The Joker : [Watching the News Report]  What? Compare me to Batman? I've got more style, more brains, I'm certainly a better dresser!

• The Joker : [throwing his razor-sharp playing cards]  Take a card, Batso! Take *all* the cards!

• [as the roller coaster with Batman on it blows up] 

  The Joker : That must have been his stop!

  [Batman appears at the back of Joker's coaster] 

  Batman : On the contrary, Joker: this is where *you* get off!

• [Batman is trapped in a water tank] 

  Jordan Hill : He can't get out! What's the trick?

  The Joker : That's just it - there is no trick!

  Jordan Hill : No, he'll drown!

  The Joker : That's why they call it a finale!

• Jordan Hill : How can I get to be a great magician like you?

  Fake Jekko (The Joker) : Well, there are three steps. Step one: Run away. Step two: Find a magician with a great act. And step three: Steal it.

• Jordan Hill : But isn't swallowing a sword dangerous?

  The Joker : Watch.

  Jordan Hill : [he demonstrates]  Hey, how did you do it?

  The Joker : [revealing the illusion]  Easy, kid. It's a trick sword. Now you try it.

  Jordan Hill : Uh-uh. You get could get cut.

  The Joker : Hey, if it wasn't risky, I wouldn't enjoy it.

• The Joker : So long, Mayor. Gotta go. But I left 'em with a bang!

  Bruce Wayne : [recognizing Jekko's cackle]  That laugh...

• The Joker : [throwing one of his playing cards]  A good magician always keeps an ace up his sleeve. This one always floors 'em!

• The Joker : Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

  [cackling] 

  The Joker : You win the prize, Batman! Catch the Kewpie!

  [he throws a doll, which explodes behind Batman] 

  The Joker : Whee! Butter Fingers. Kewpie dupie number two-ee!

  [throwing another doll, which explodes in the last car of Batman's roller coaster] 

  The Joker : [throwing a third doll]  You just don't like to play with dolls, do ya?

• The Joker : Naughty, naughty. You're making me miss the show.

• The Joker : Wake up, Batman. You're on!

  [Batman realizes he's hanging upside-down in a water tank] 

  The Joker : For your viewing pleasure, we present the infamous water tank trap. The Great Houdini survived such a test. Dare we demand less of the Batman?

• Jordan Hill : I want to be a magician, like you.

  The Joker : Grrr! You...

  [laughing] 

  The Joker : Well, kid, you got step one right. Come on in! I've been thinking about a protege.

• The Joker : [knocking out Batman]  We bagged a big one this time!

  Jordan Hill : He isn't hurt, is he?

  The Joker : Hurt? Heavens! You wound me to the quick. The enemy merely slumbers, no doubt dreaming of more foul deeds to render upon the fair citizens of Gotham. But his fate is not for us to decide.

• Mayor Hamilton Hill : I intend to run every one of these costume freaks out of town, and make all of Gotham City as safe as my own mansion.

  The Joker : Oh, really?

  [throwing a pie at the TV] 

  The Joker : Well, we'll just see how safe your mansion is, you babbling bonehead.

• The Joker : Mayor Hill, I presume. Jekko. Jekko the Magnifi-Cent.

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : [shaking hands]  Pleased to...

  [shocked by Jekko's joy buzzer] 

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : Ow!

  The Joker : Always gives the party a charge.

• Summer Gleeson : Denying reports of a bomb blast at his son's birthday party, Mayor Hill insists the explosion was caused by faulty electrical wiring.

  The Joker : Yeah, right!

  Summer Gleeson : The mayor declined, however, to confirm that his son Jordan is missing.

  The Joker : Missing?

  Jordan Hill : [coming out from his hiding spot]  It's me, Jekko. I ran away.

  The Joker : YOU DID *WHAT*?

• Jordan Hill : [at the party, unaware that "Jekko" is really the Joker]  Could you show us more, please, Jekko?

  Fake Jekko (The Joker) : Sure, birthday boy. I'm saving the best for last.

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : [spoiling the mood]  Jordan, I've got more guests for you to meet.

  Jordan Hill : But, Dad, Jekko was just going to show us a trick.

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : Sorry, but Mr. Wayne is waiting and...

  Jordan Hill : I don't care about Mr. Wayne!

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : Hush. You'll do what I say. Now come on.

  Jordan Hill : [fed up with this selfishness]  It's always what you want. You! You! You!

  [the guests gasp, and Jordan runs away] 

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : [laughs]  Kids.

  [to his cameraman] 

  Mayor Hamilton Hill : Turn that off!

  Fake Jekko (The Joker) : [disregarding this incident]  Oh! Too bad for birthday boy. This last trick is pure dynamite.