Batman Beyond (TV Series)
The Eggbaby (2000)
Will Friedle: Terry McGinnis, Batman
Quotes
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Terry McGinnis : It will have to wait til tonight. I have to get to class. It's family studies and I'm failing.
Bruce Wayne : How does someone fail family studies?
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Bruce Wayne : Do you have to keep lugging that thing around with you?
Terry McGinnis : I need the grade.
Bruce Wayne : Even real parents with real children find ways to get away for a night.
Terry McGinnis : I tried leaving it with my mom, but she said she was too young to be a grandmother.
Bruce Wayne : What about your brother?
Terry McGinnis : I tried that, too, then I caught him shooting rubber bands at it. Hey, you know, maybe you could...
[Bruce glares]
Terry McGinnis : Never mind.
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Bruce Wayne : What's going on there? Is that a baby?
Batman : Um...
Bruce Wayne : You brought a *baby* with you?
Batman : It's not what you think. Really.
Bruce Wayne : Terry, is there something you need to tell me?
Batman : It's not a child. It's... turn on your vidlink.
[Bruce does so]
Batman : See? It's not a real baby.
Bruce Wayne : Why am I not reassured?
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Blade : And how's our little A+ doing?
Terry McGinnis : He's sleeping. You'll hardly know he's around.
Blade : Forget it. Jurgen has this new 'Vette I want to check out.
Terry McGinnis : I want a divorce!
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Terry McGinnis : Ma Mayhem?
Bruce Wayne : A tabloid gave her that name. It was the golden age of alliteration.
Terry McGinnis : So what do you want me to do? Wait until she tries to fence the ruby?
Bruce Wayne : I have a feeling she'll be holding on to it. There was another robbery a week ago.
Terry McGinnis : More rubies?
Bruce Wayne : Exactly.
Terry McGinnis : What is she going to do them all?
Bruce Wayne : Don't know. But I have a feeling she not making slippers.
Terry McGinnis : Slippers? From rubies?
Bruce Wayne : Hm. Before your time.
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Ma Mayhem : This is getting old, Batman.
Terry McGinnis : Look who's talking.
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Terry McGinnis : No sign of him anywhere. I've lost him.
Bruce Wayne : Him? That's a doll you're talking about, not a life.
Terry McGinnis : It's my life if it's lost. I'll have to take family studies again. Have you ever taken family studies?
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Batman : Poor kid's gonna cry 'til he shuts down.
Bruce Wayne : Its cries are computer-generated, aren't they?
Batman : Yeah. So?
Bruce Wayne : That would mean the cries would have certain quantifiable digital properties.
Batman : Then I can set the Batmobile to scan for them, can't I?
Bruce Wayne : Uh-huh. Unless they've already made an omelet out of him.
Batman : [insulted] Oh, hey!
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Bruce Wayne : My instruments say you're only doing 180. Is there a problem?
Batman : Uh... she's feeling a little sluggish tonight. Didn't want to push it.
Bruce Wayne : [hearing the eggbaby fuss] What was that?
Batman : Nothing.
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Ms. Pinto : Each of your eggbabies has a built-in computer, which registers the amount of care or lack of care it's given. These readings will determine your grades.
[Nelson tickles his, and it giggles]
Ms. Pinto : As you can see, the babies exhibit a wide range of emotions and expressions of need. It's your job to fulfill those needs.
Nelson Nash : Ms. Pinto, what happens if we drop it?
Ms. Pinto : [demonstrating] You fail.
[Blade accidentally nudges hers off the desk; as Terry catches it, it begins crying]
Ms. Pinto : They're babies, Mr. McGinnis. You must be gentle with them.
Terry McGinnis : How do I turn it off?
Ms. Pinto : You can't. But you can quiet it down by rocking it, just like a real baby.
Nelson Nash : Yeah, McGinnis, get with the program.
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Bruce Wayne : It's the one piece they haven't gotten yet. Part of a display at the Museum of Fashion. You think baby could keep its mouth shut for one night?
Terry McGinnis : I gave it a double feeding, changed it, kept it awake all afternoon. Believe me, it'll be off in nap city for hours.
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Bruce Wayne : Turns out she's not stealing just any rubies. They're all part of a set she stole once before. And now that she's out of prison, she wants them back.
Terry McGinnis : So much for rehabilitation.
Bruce Wayne : Ma's very determined. And that makes her and her boys very dangerous. Your ride's on its way.
Terry McGinnis : I'll meet it on the roof.
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Blade : Here. You take him.
Terry McGinnis : Blade, you can't just...
Blade : I didn't realize how much it cried. Besides, I have a date with Jurgen tonight. We can't exactly take the thing along, can we?
Terry McGinnis : But I had it all day, and I've got something important to do.
Blade : I don't care.
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Nelson Nash : Something's wrong. He's not eating. Why isn't he eating?
Terry McGinnis : Maybe because you're trying to feed him through his nose.
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Max : Here's the bio and civics.
Nelson Nash : Thanks, hon. How about the math?
Max : It's coming. Stop nagging.
Terry McGinnis : I get it. You're doing his homework so you don't have to take care of the baby.
Max : We opted for the traditional marriage: one breadwinner, one homemaker.
Nelson Nash : Beats algebra.