Arrested Development (TV Series)

Motherboy XXX (2005)

Ron Howard: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled to be with Tobias...

  Lindsay Funke : Oh my god, I'm sorry, I walked into the wrong trailer!

  Dave Attell : Wow, the service sent you over quick.

  Narrator : ...But not the one she's married to.

  Lindsay Funke : [he quickly disrobes]  You don't cry when you take those off?

  Narrator : Having finally had sex, GOB can admit that he never consummated his marriage.

  George "Gob" Bluth II : Your Honor, we never consummated this marriage.

  Wife of Gob : Judge, maybe you should take a look at this, which was taken in your office just moments ago.

  [She hands the judge a picture, and GOB is seen shirtless with the shirt over his head] 

  Narrator : Then GOB catches a lucky break.

  Judge Lionel Ping : There's no way to tell who this man is.

  Narrator : But it doesn't last long.

  George "Gob" Bluth II : Oh that's me, your honor, I fucked my wife.

  Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh, we've really lost this case.

  Narrator : And Maeby impresses some kids at the Promise Land with her one scary campfire story.

  Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Knock, scrape. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call!

  [Buster enters the clearing while holding up his hook] 

  Buster : Hey, campers.

  [the kids all scream and run away] 

  Buster : I'm a monster!

  Michael : This may have been a step backward.

• Tobias Fünke : What are you doing up here?

  George Bluth Sr. : [he shoves Tobias against the wall with his hand covering Tobias's mouth]  I'm having a fucking tea party, what does it look like? I live here and if you tell anybody, you are dead.

  Narrator : Tobias saw the raw power of George Sr.

  George Bluth Sr. : Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass!

• Carl Weathers : [at Burger King]  I'm going to go get a refill. You know you can get a refill on any drink you want?

  Tobias Fünke : It's a great restaurant!

  Narrator : It sure is!

• Lucille : We had a fight. Who knows about what?

  Narrator : I do.

• Buster : My army training is telling me that this is a hot mission.

  Michael : Hot mission! We're on a hot mission!

  Buster : Maybe we should call it "Operation: Hot Mother."

  Michael : No, no, let's try to top that.

  Narrator : They never did, and later, Operation: Hot Mother was under way.

• Narrator : [about the Motherboy dance]  Motherboy was also the name of a heavy metal band that used to rock pretty hard during the '70s. We are legally obligated to make this distinction.

• Lucille : You know I always get this way around Motherboy.

  Michael : Oh, God, it's Motherboy time already?

  Lucille : Normally, I'd go with Buster but he doesnt want to go. But with you, I think I've got a shot.

  Michael : Buster for the first time ever, doesnt want to do this?

  Narrator : [voice over]  Motherboy was the name of an annual dance promoting mother-son bonding. Lucille has gone with Buster over 30 times, and on many occasions, won cutest couple. But as one entered sexual maturity and the other one left it, it became increasingly difficult.

  Lucille : [Buster and Lucille are getting their picture taken]  I'm so hot.

  Buster : If you were hot, mother, we would win!

• Narrator : George Michael should have realized by the sailor suits Lucille dressed him in that he was not going north to the Promised Land. No, he was going south. South, to Motherboy.

• Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Lindsay finds herself strangely compelled to be with Tobias.

  Dave Attell : [Lindsay accidentally wanders into Dave Attell's dressing room]  Wow, the service sent you over quick.

  [he quickly disrobes] 

  Narrator : But not the one she's married to.

  Lindsay Funke : You don't cry when you take those off?

• Gob Bluth : Well, we did have sex. And I'm not a great liar.

  Narrator : Both things he just said were lies.