Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Calling All Customers (1983)

Mollie Sugden: Mrs. Slocombe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Slocombe : On the mantelpiece in my parlour, I've got a whole row of silver cups.

  C.B. Voice : Oh. And what are they for?

  Mrs. Slocombe : They're for my pussy. Do you know, it wins a prize every time I show it!

  [a crash is heard] 

  Mrs. Slocombe : Hello? Hello? What's happened?

  Mr. Humphries : [quickly]  I think he's just pulled off for a coffee.

• [Mrs. Slocombe has entered a story she wrote into a contest] 

  Mr. Rumbold : I think the heroine ought to be ten years younger to make it believable... she takes an herbal bath on nearly every page.

  Mrs. Slocombe : A lot of men prefer older women. I mean, what about that Joan Collins in that Dynasty.

  Mr. Rumbold : Yes, but she doesn't jump into trucks at 80 miles an hour with a spanner in one hand, saying, "Hand over your smoky or I'll put the boot in."

• Captain Peacock : Why don't we do something like... Well, "THE FORSYTE SAGA"?

  [to Miss Brahms] 

  Captain Peacock : You could always play a skivvy.

  Miss Brahms : He's always saying things like that to me because he knows I live in a semi-detached house. He thinks everyone is common but him.

  Mr. Humphries : Of course he doesn't. Will you calm down? It's no good arguing amongst ourselves. I'm sure Captain Peacock didn't mean to upset you.

  Mrs. Slocombe : [to Miss Brahms]  And you know, in "UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS" some of the best parts were downstairs.