Angel (TV Series)

Spin the Bottle (2002)

Charisma Carpenter: Cordelia Chase

Quotes 

• Cordelia : I kinda have filled out even more.

  Fred : And I apparently ain't gonna.

• Fred : [after losing all their adult memories]  Um, I'm Fred Burkle.

  [to Cordelia] 

  Fred : I'm also in school in San Anton.

  Cordelia : Oh, we're both in school.

  [Sarcastic] 

  Cordelia : Oh, gosh, let's be best friends so I can lose all my cool ones.

• Cordelia : Maybe I was gonna tell you to back off, buddy. Maybe you were comin' on too strong. Harassing me in the workplace. Maybe I had a red-hot restraining order in my mitts. You ever think of that?

  Angel : I was never - in the workplace. I - Well, there was that one time with the - with the ballet and-and the stripping and then the roundness. But that was a spell. And-and we were meeting in Malibu on the bluffs at night. That's a pretty romantic restraining order!

• Cordelia : You have no idea how much this is killing me. I know my ABC's, my history. I know who's President and that I sort of wish I didn't. I know the name of every shoe store in the Beverly Center, but I don't - I don't even recognize the sound of my own name.

• Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : So who are you?

  Gunn : I'm the guy that's gonna be kickin' a whole mess of ass somebody don't tell me what's goin' on.

  Cordelia : What do they call you for short?

• Cordelia Chase : [touches her short hairstyle]  Oh, God. Oh, God. My hair. My hair.

  [crying] 

  Cordelia Chase : The government gave me bad hair.

• [watching Gunn and Wesley fight] 

  Cordelia : Are you going to stop this?

  Angel : High time the English got what's coming to them. I'm rooting for the slave.

• Angel : Mad. You're all mad. These clothes. Your speech. This place. What land is this?

  Gunn : What land is it supposed to be?

  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : [to Angel]  Yes, where do you hail from, friend?

  Angel : [Angerly]  I'm not your friend, you English pig! We never wanted you in Ireland. We don't want you now.

  Gunn : You Irish?

  Cordelia : You don't sound Irish?

  Angel : For most certain, I sound exactly-

  [releasing he doesn't have an Irish accent, puts his hand to his throat in panic] 

  Angel : Something is wrong with my voice!

• Cordelia : I suggest we gather some cops.

  Gunn : Yo... I don't want no heat near me.

  Fred : I don't think we should call the police anyhow. I mean, they're probably involved.

  Gunn : In what?

  Fred : Don't y'all think this is some kind of government conspiracy? 'Cause my friend, Levon, says the government's always taking kids and experimentin' on 'em. Did anybody else have to take a personality disorder test recently? They ask you about politics and your bowel movements and if you want to be a florist...

• Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : The important thing is to start with the facts. We're all from different cities, we're all of an age...

  [rubs chin thoughtfully] 

  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : Judging from the amount of facial hair I've grown, we've all been unconscious for at least a month.

  Cordelia : [Touches her short hairstyle]  Oh, God. Oh, God. My hair. My hair.

  [Crying] 

  Cordelia : The government gave me bad hair!

  Fred : [Reassuringly]  No, no, it's nice!

  Cordelia : Are you sure?

  Wesley Wyndam-Pryce : It's... eh... very attractive. But a clue, nonetheless. Perhaps the whole point of this experiment is hair!

• Cordelia : [after discovering that Angel is a vampire]  Is this a convenient time to point out that you left me alone with him, genius!

  Angel : [trying to defend himself]  Well, I-I never touched her.

  Cordelia : So, clearly, deviant.

• Cordelia : [after Angel walks into her room without knocking]  So... you're perfectly OK with just wandering into my room any old time? That fits the "we were in love" theory and the harassment theory - pretty much equally.

• Cordelia : Keep explaining why we're not walking out that door?

  Angel : [Darkly]  Because they did something to us. They changed us.

  Cordelia : You mean, this is about my hair?

• Gunn : What the hell are you talkin' about?

  Cordelia : It's called kidnapping a minor, Hair Club for Men.

• Cordelia : Okay, we've heard from Scarlet "Oh, please shut me up."

• Angel : [as Liam]  It's the devil. It's the devil!

  Cordelia : My hair?

• Wesley : I happen to be head boy.

  Cordelia : Gee, I wonder how you earned *that* nickname.