- Magnus Bryce: She's impure? Sh-She's not a virgin?
- [to Wesley]
- Magnus Bryce: You...
- Charles Gunn: Whoa, that's what impure meant?
- Cordelia Chase: She slept with him?
- Magnus Bryce: [to Wesley, imitating Angel] You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
- Cordelia Chase: You slept with her?
- Angel: A eunuch?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Things happen. Two young people. Danger.
- Virginia Bryce: What are you talking about?
- Magnus Bryce: She was a virgin before you got here.
- Virginia Bryce: I was not a virgin!
- Magnus Bryce: What?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, thank goodness.
- Charles Gunn: I coulda have told you she wasn't no virgin.
- Angel: Not a eunuch.
- Cordelia Chase: One day as Angel... One day, and he's getting some.
- Magnus Bryce: What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.
- Angel: I mean, the curse isn't even all that clear.
- Virginia Bryce: Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was sixteen? And the one at eighteen? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.
- Cordelia Chase: What are you doing?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, knocking things over, driving away business... You know, the usual.
- Cordelia Chase: Well, I found him and we have to stop him before it's too late. We have to change our... Do you have any clothes a man would wear?
- Charles Gunn: It's cool. He's got a plan.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A plan?
- Angel: Yeah. I get to the offices before they stop me.
- Charles Gunn: See? What? That's the plan? Walking real quick was the plan?
- Cordelia Chase: Right. This is Angel. "Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday".
- Angel: We're going. I don't have to sing.
- Cordelia Chase: Oh, thank God! I-I mean, for your sake. Because I know you don't like to do that.
- Lorne: [to Angel] You don't have to sing. A break for you, a break for me, and a break for Mr. Manilow.
- T'ish Magev: Vampire living in a city known for its sun, driving a convertible. Why do you hate yourself?
- Angel: I don't. I got a deal.
- T'ish Magev: You got a deal? Why not a personalized license plate that says, "irony"?
- Angel: Top goes up.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [pretending to be Angel] Blood. I don't usually... drink in front of humans.
- Magnus Bryce: Don't insult me. Go on. It's fresh.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: [drinks the glass of blood] Dear God! That's... nummy.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You know, this whole "curse" thing has been widely misinterpreted.
- Virginia Bryce: Really?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, yes. Less - less of a curse, and more of a hex, actually. Barely that. A recommendation.
- Cordelia Chase: Angel! Gunn! What happened?
- Angel: He got hit.
- Cordelia Chase: By who? The swami? Swamis don't hit, swamis "swam".
- [last lines]
- Cordelia Chase: [handing Angel a magazine] Look!
- Angel: [reading] "Virginia Bryce, squired by Mr. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, private detective and bodyguard to the stars..." Squired? Who says squired?
- Cordelia Chase: Look at him all over her!
- Angel: You know what, Cordelia, you're just jealous that he's getting some attention.
- Cordelia Chase: Damn skippy! He's getting famous off this! Reflected glory? That's my thing!
- Angel: Get a little perspective. "Bodyguard to the stars". Yeah right.
- [pause]
- Angel: There's no "Wyndam-Price Agency"!
- T'ish Magev: [to Angel] How many warriors slated for the coming apocalypse do you think are gonna be using that hair gel? Don't get me wrong. You're out there, fighting ultimate evil; you're going to want something with hold. But how do you expect to triumph over the soldiers of darkness when you're still fighting yourself?
- T'ish Magev: Right. So here's what you do. You go out, and find yourself some small, blonde thing. You bed her, you love her, you treat her like crap, you break her heart. You and your inner demon will thank me. I promise.
- Angel: Um...
- Cordelia Chase: [to Wes] You've got everybody scared around here. I'll tell you that. It's like they don't even know you're a Shemp.
- Cordelia Chase: [to Wesley] What is wrong with you? You've got like, delusions of Angel. You're not him. You can't do stuff on your own.
- Charles Gunn: Okay, what I want to know is... how I live in L.A. all my life and not know this weird-ass stuff was going on?
- Cordelia Chase: Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think.
- Charles Gunn: At gun point?
- Cordelia Chase: Yes, the point of a gun. He just walked Wesley right out of here. And this whole "I'm Angel" thing is a very, very bad idea. I mean, if I thought that would work, I could've been Angel, because, guess what? Pretty much a girly name.
- T'ish Magev: [after being caught in the lip by a fishing hook by Angel] What are you doing?
- Angel: [vamped out] Getting in touch with my inner demon.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh, no, no, no. Not the sun, for I'm a vampire! Oh, oh, oh, it burns! Oh, oh, oh.
- Magnus Bryce: [to Wesley] You're going to get out of my house now, loser. Take the piece with you.
- Cordelia Chase: The piece? Wa-Was that supposed to be me? Get off me!
- Magnus Bryce: I understand, you're frustrated. But I'm a desperate man. You help people. I need help. Protection for someone very dear to me. Now, relax and let me explain.
- [first lines]
- Man: Hello.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Didn't hear you come in. How can I help you?
- Man: Where is he?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Angel? He is rather out at the moment. Is there something I can do for you? I'm his associate.
- Man: Yeah, you can tell me where the boss is. It's kind of urgent.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: We specialize in urgent. Life and death is it?
- Man: It could get rough. I need someone with his special abilities.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I understand perfectly. Why don't you fill me in, and as soon as we find...
- Man: What about you? You got any special abilities?
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: A few, I dare say.
- Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The host, the fellow talking to Angel over there. He helps demons. Reads their souls, senses their futures.
- Cordelia Chase: Yes, but he can only do it when they sing karaoke.
- T'ish Magev: What kind of mileage do you get with that thing?
- Angel: I don't know. Twelve in the city, maybe.
- T'ish Magev: Gas hog. Still, probably a chick magnet, right?
- T'ish Magev: Morning, traveller. Do you seek enlightenment?
- Charles Gunn: I seek Angel. He with you?
- T'ish Magev: Well, he was until the sun came up and then... you see that pile of dust over there?