The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)
The Pickle Story (1961)
Don Knotts: Barney Fife
Photos
Quotes
-
Barney Fife : I don't know how I can face the future when I know there's eight quarts of these pickles in it!
-
Barney Fife : You mean you actually *want* her to make another batch of them kerosene cucumbers?
-
Barney Fife : [Barney sees a fly land on Aunt Bee's pickles] Shoo, fly! He's dead!
-
Sheriff Andy Taylor : No chance of getting Aunt Bee's old pickles back, is there?
Barney Fife : They're scattered from Oregon to Nova Scotia.
-
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Somehow, between now and the contest, we gonna have to eat up all the store pickles that Aunt Bee's got on hand.
Barney Fife : Why don't we get rid of them the same way we got rid of the others?
Sheriff Andy Taylor : No, no, that won't work. See, she's gotta see them pickles disappear and she's gotta see us likin' them so much that she'll wanna make another batch.
Barney Fife : I gotta tell ya, my heart ain't in this!
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Well, it's not so much your heart we need, it's your stomach.
-
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Sixteen jars. Well, there's only one thing to do. That's what we shoulda done in the first place.
Barney Fife : You mean...
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Learn to love 'em.
-
Barney Fife : [Barney sits down to have some toast and jelly with Andy when they both smell something] You been doin' some paintin' in here?
Sheriff Andy Taylor : No. No, probably just some glue Opie's usin' on model airplanes.
Barney Fife : No, don't smell like glue to me. Smells more like ammonia.
Sheriff Andy Taylor : You don't reckon that gas stove's leakin' do you?
Barney Fife : [Barney is about to take a bite of his toast and suddenly recoils] I found it!
[points to the jelly]
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Aunt Bee was in here workin' yesterday.
Barney Fife : [they open the cupboard to find it filled with jars] Don't tell me Aunt Bee is makin' marmalade now!
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Don't just stand there. Get the suitcase!
-
Aunt Bee Taylor : Barney, you haven't told us a thing about your trip.
Barney Fife : What trip? Oh! Oh, the trip. Well, it was just fine, fine. They were just pickled tink to see me.