- William Upchurch: Sheriff tells me you decided not to make a moulage.
- Barney Fife: [obviously unfamiliar with the word] A moulage? Y-y... Yeah, that's right. We decided not to make a moulage. Oh, we told a few people, but we decided it didn't make sense upsettin' folks runnin' around blabbin', makin' a big moulage out of it.
- Andy Taylor: Uh, Barney? He means a plaster cast of the prints.
- Barney Fife: Th - *That* kind of moulage!
- Barney Fife: [trying to sound experienced while mixing ingredients] I think that can use a touch more plaster. I always like to make my moulages just a bit on the solid side.
- Andy Taylor: [not buying it] I like to use a little egg white in mine. Makes 'em moister and fluffier.
- Andy Taylor: Not exactly a cow. You're lookin' at what happens when a nearsighted man tries to put shoes on an ornery old bull!
- Barney Fife: I was almost out to the car and... Well, I got to rememberin' another time, a few years back, when another mayor of our town accused you of havin' a harebrained idea. Remember that? That was when you had the idea of making me your deputy.
- Mayor Roy Stoner: Two cows have been stolen, Sheriff! Something has got to be done about all this!
- Andy Taylor: I expect you're right, Mayor.
- Mayor Roy Stoner: Well, these people here deserve proper protection and my administration is gonna see to it that they get it!
- Andy Taylor: Mayor, I told Fletch we'd do all we could.
- Mayor Roy Stoner: Well, now, that doesn't seem to be enough! What I'd better do is phone down to the capital and have them send up a *real* professional! Yes, sir, Tate! By golly, I'm going to see to it personally that you get results! I'll have a man here in twenty-four hours! A man who *really* knows something about solving crimes! No offense, Sheriff. It just has to be done.