The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

The County Nurse (1962)

Don Knotts: Barney Fife

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Fife : That little kissy on the jaw. That, uh, felt kinda good, didn't it?

  Andy Taylor : It felt better than a mule's nose. Yes.

• Barney Fife : You know, it's a good thing she ain't campaignin' for folks to get their eyes examined.

  Andy Taylor : How's that?

  Barney Fife : One kiss on your jaw and we'd all be wearin' glasses!

  Andy Taylor : Oh, now, come on, Barney! I mean...

  Barney Fife : If she ever kissed you on the mouth, we'd all have to have our appendix taken out!

  Andy Taylor : You're a nut!

  Barney Fife : Well, you're a dear!

• Barney Fife : I'm gonna give you exactly three to get out here! One... Two... Three...

  Rafe Hollister : [Rafe comes out with a rifle]  And I'll give you exactly three to git off of my property!