- [Barney accidentally fires his gun]
- Andy Taylor: Barney, you promised me when I gave you that bullet you'd keep it in your shirt pocket! Now, why'd you take it out?
- Barney Fife: Oh, I'm sorry, Andy. I... Doggone it! That bullet was turnin' green in my pocket! I thought it'd keep better in the gun.
- Andy Taylor: Barney...
- Barney Fife: And besides, I've already lost two bullets in the laundry.
- Andy Taylor: Barney, to tell you the truth, I'm scared to give you any more bullets. You come very near shooting yourself in the foot and you know there ain't exactly much of a call for one-legged deputies.
- Andy Taylor: Got quite a knack. I mean, the way you make friends so easy.
- 'Gentleman' Dan Caldwell: Oh, that's my business, Sheriff. Making friends.
- Andy Taylor: Seem to have made quite a few right here in Mayberry.
- 'Gentleman' Dan Caldwell: They're nice people, Sheriff. I'd like to do something for them.
- Andy Taylor: Sure you wouldn't like for 'em to do somethin' for you?
- 'Gentleman' Dan Caldwell: Never know. You never know.
- Andy Taylor: Uh, don't you... don't you wanna hear that story, Opie?
- Opie Taylor: Not 'specially, Pa.
- Andy Taylor: Well, is there, uh, is there another one that you druther hear?
- Opie Taylor: Yeah.
- Andy Taylor: Which one?
- Opie Taylor: Do you know the one about the Kansas City Million Dollar Heist or The Toledo Payroll Caper?