- Jackson Duper: You know what? I'm not even in the mood for your issues.
- Ally McBeal: My issues? What are my issues?
- Jackson Duper: Look, lady.
- Ally McBeal: Ally.
- Larry: Jackson.
- Jackson Duper: First, you're kissing me.
- Ally McBeal: [gesturing to Larry] I thought you were him.
- Jackson Duper: Then you climbed into bed.
- Ally McBeal: [gesturing to Renee] I thought you were her.
- Jackson Duper: Then your hands were all up on my privates.
- Ally McBeal: Well, because I thought it was the remote control.
- Larry: Hold on!
- Jackson Duper: You found the remote, now, didn't you?