Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker

Quotes 

• [Archie is spreading smoke around the room] 

  Mike Stivic : What are you doing?

  Archie Bunker : Did you ever hear of smoke damage?

  Mike Stivic : Did you ever hear of fraud?

  Archie Bunker : Did you ever hear of getting lucky?

  Mike Stivic : Did you ever hear of going to jail?

  Archie Bunker : Did you ever hear of shut up.

• Edith Bunker : [There's a fire in the house]  And our family picture albums.

  Archie Bunker : If you find the album, Edith, throw it at the fire. If you really wanna risk your life for something, money. Top of the closet on the shelf there, is a my secret cigar box I never told you about with $108 in it.

  Edith Bunker : A hundred and nine.

• Archie Bunker : [after Mike thinks he saved the day by putting out the fire, unaware Archie was planning on letting everything burn to buy new furniture with the insurance money]  Do you know how to swim?

  Mike Stivic : Yeah.

  Archie Bunker : Then why don't you go take a flying leap into the middle of Lake Polack?

• Archie Bunker : When the firemen come I want them looking at the fire in the can, not the fire in your Spanish eyes.