Jean Stapleton: Edith Bunker

Quotes 

• Edith Bunker : [Archie is trying to be tender, but Edith is tense]  What are you gonna do?

  Archie Bunker : [tenderly pulls her close]  I'm just gonna do this here with my arm...

  [puts his arm around her] 

  Archie Bunker : ... And this here with my kisser.

  [kisses her tenderly. Edith stiffens at first, then returns the kiss and holds him close, Archie breaks away and smiles at her cautiously] 

  Archie Bunker : Well, wasn't that nice?

  Edith Bunker : [nods, looking both immensely relieved and frightened]  Do you... still love me?

  Archie Bunker : [baffled]  DO I STILL LOVE YOU? What are you talkin' about? Why do you think I'm tryin' all this here... whaddaya call it..."LTD" on ya?

  [meant to say "TLC", for Tender Loving Care] 

  Edith Bunker : ...What's that?

  Archie Bunker : It's uh... uh uh..."Lovin' Til Daylight"... or something.

  [meekly] 

  Archie Bunker : Look, here, I'm doin' the best I can. Lemme try again, huh?

  Archie Bunker : [tries to kiss her again, but Edith reacts frightfully]  What did I do?

  Edith Bunker : I'm still scared.

  Archie Bunker : Aw, Edith, don't be scared no more.

  [hugs her tight] 

  Edith Bunker : I... I can't forget that man.

  Archie Bunker : Aw, Edith...

  Gloria Bunker-Stivic : [barges in the bedroom door]  Ma...

  Archie Bunker : Learn to knock, learn to knock, LEARN TO KNOCK!

• Archie Bunker : [trying to get a hysterical Edith to explain what happened]  Here, here, take it easy. So a man came over to the house, lookin' for a man, and he said he was the man he was lookin' for. What is that?

  Edith Bunker : He... he had a gun.

  Archie Bunker : HE HAD A GUN?

  Edith Bunker : He said... he was gonna kill me!

  Archie Bunker : DID HE?

  Edith Bunker : NO!

  Archie Bunker : [feeling foolish over his obvious gaffe]  Yeah yeah, he didn't, he didn't... but what did he do?

  Edith Bunker : He... he...

  [she can't bring herself to say the words] 

  Archie Bunker : ...What, what, WHAT?

  Edith Bunker : ...He... HE...

  Archie Bunker : [frustrated, but scared]  ... Come on, Edith, what did he WANT?

  Edith Bunker : [barely a whisper]  ... Me.

  [looks away] 

  Archie Bunker : [confused]  You? Well, what'd you tell him, Edith, did you...?

  [realizing what she means, suddenly panicked] 

  Archie Bunker : The guy...

  [can't say the word, mouths it instead] 

  Archie Bunker : RAPED

  [speaks again] 

  Archie Bunker : you?

  Edith Bunker : NO... no... he tried to.

  Archie Bunker : He TRIED? W-w-w-w-what happened, what'd he do?

  Edith Bunker : [breaks down sobbing]  It was awful. It was awful. I thought he was gonna kill me...

  Archie Bunker : Oh geez, Edith. Oh my God, Edith. You... you need to lie down for a little bit here.

  [she shakes her head "No"] 

  Archie Bunker : Well well, maybe something hot to drink.

  [keeps shaking her head "No"] 

  Archie Bunker : Somethin' cold?

  [keeps shaking her head "No"] 

  Archie Bunker : Yeah, first things first, don't drink nothin.

  [heads for the phone] 

  Edith Bunker : [hoarsely]  Where are you going?

  Archie Bunker : Well, I gotta phone someone, call an ambulance, phone a doctor.

  [Edith keeps protesting "No", Archie is totally frustrated] 

  Archie Bunker : "No, no, no, no"... okay, best thing is to stay offa the phone.

  [takes Edith hands in his] 

  Archie Bunker : Well, geez, Edith... look, we gotta do something, Edith. I mean, if we don't phone nobody important, if we don't drink nothin' tasty, what the hell are we gonna do?

  Edith Bunker : HOLD ME!

  Archie Bunker : That's the best thing, I can do that, all right!

  [hugs her tight] 

  Archie Bunker : Edith... how did you get away from the lousy bum?

  Edith Bunker : Cake... I... I... I hit him with the cake... I was baking.

  Archie Bunker : Thank god you had something heavy around.

  [realizing again the circumstances] 

  Archie Bunker : Wait a minute, wait a minute... he must've been over there when I come lookin' for the punchbowl. But why didn't you say somethin'?

  Edith Bunker : He - he said he would... do somethin' to you.

  Archie Bunker : Do somethin' to me? What the hell? Was he a fruit, too?

• Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Daddy, we have to call the police!

  Archie Bunker : No.

  Edith Bunker : DON'T!

  Gloria Bunker-Stivic : MOM! Remember when it happened to me 3 years ago? That's the first thing we did.

  Archie Bunker : And what the first thing the cop told you when he come over to the house? He said it would never go into court, they'd ask you questions they turn around and make it look like you were ask for it there! That's why we dropped the whole thing, remember that, huh? And what you want to do, put your mother and me through the same kind of shame there?

• Archie : How did you get rid of the lousy bum?

  Edith : I hit him with my cake.

  Archie : Thank God you had something heavy.

• Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Ma, look at ya! You haven't been out of this house in two weeks!

  Edith Bunker : No, please, Gloria, I don't care! I don't wanna look at that man again.

  Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Ma, don't you see? The criminal's supposed to be in jail, not the victim!

• Edith : [Mike and Archie are going to check the house for the rapist]  HE'S GOT A GUN!

  [both men slam the door] 

  Archie : This is why every citizen should have a loaded gun in his house you big mouthed liberal you!

  Mike Stivic : HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU I DON'T BELIEVE IN VIOLENCE?

  [picks up baseball bat] 

  Archie : What're you going to do with that? BUNT him off the premises?

• Edith : [shakily]  Come on, Archie.

  Archie : Where... where we going?

  Edith : To the police station.

  Archie : Are you sure?

  Edith : If it's him... I have to stop him. Gloria... put all that stuff away, I ain't doing anymore laundry!

• Edith Bunker : [refusing to identify her attacker]  No, I ain't gonna leave this house!

  Gloria Bunker-Stivic : You're gonna let him do what he did to you to God knows how many other women? I can't believe it! I'm ashamed of you. The mother I know would never refuse, my mother always helped other people! You know what? You are selfish! YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER ANYMORE!

  Edith Bunker : [Edith slaps Gloria, then immediately realizes what she's done]  Oh, Gloria... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...

  Gloria Bunker-Stivic : It's okay, Ma. It's okay. I understand.

  Edith Bunker : [Edith looks at her daughter tenderly, then her expression changes, and she knows what she needs to do]  Come on, Archie.

• Cop : [shows Edith the rapist's clothes]  Can you identify these clothes, ma'am?

  [shows the rapist's tie] 

  Edith Bunker : [gasps]  NO! No! I can't! He'll kill me! He'll kill me!

  [runs up the stairs] 

  Edith Bunker : He'll kill me! He'll kill me! He'll kill me!

• Archie : [goes over to Edith at the ironing board]  Hi Edith, good to see you angel doll, oh gee, you're starching that same sheet again.

  Edith Bunker : It ain't smooth!

  Archie : Oh, it ain't smooth.

  [glares at Gloria]