[first lines]
Himself - Host: [Hitchcock is holding a huge magnifying glass the size of his face in front of him] Good evening.
[puts down magnifying glass]
Himself - Host: I've been examining the fingerprints on the inside of your television screen. Very unusual. They're all thumbs.
[He glances upwards and points to the screen]
Himself - Host: That's it. They must've been left by your television repairman.
[brings up magnifying glass over his face again]
Himself - Host: You know, I could use this to watch television. I have a 27-inch set with an 8-inch screen.
[puts down magnifying glass]
Himself - Host: It also has an adjustment for color. The adjustment consists of a palette and brush and the viewer simply fills in the numbered squares.
[gesticulates with thumb and fingers in an 'OK' sign]
Himself - Host: It takes a very deft hand. Tonight's tale is provocatively captioned "Decoy." Do I pique you? I hope so. A program host should always be a good piquer. In watching this story, I want you to pay particular attention to the three undraped ladies who dance in the final scene. Because one of these young ladies has since married a titled Englishman and her face is now quite well-known.