- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [on why he and B.A. won't be scuba diving] B.A. and I have been working out, you two look a little flabby.
- Templeton Peck: FlabbY?
- Murdock: Just WHAT are we supposed to be doing down there, Colonel, other than not drink the water?
- Doug Mayer: Have you got a search warrant?
- Col. Roderick Decker: Son, when you can get a warrant as quick as I can, you don't need one.
- Col. Roderick Decker: [the Team has been caught by Decker] By tomorrow morning you'll be eating breakfast with 500 guys just like you.
- Templeton Peck: Eh, there is nobody just like us.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [Decker has them trapped] Unless...
- Templeton Peck: Unless... you mean Murdock? Well it's true what they say, America IS running out of heroes.
- "B.A." Baracus: [being rushed out of the hospital on a gurney] Be careful, this ain't no silly car race.
- Murdock: Leave the driving to me.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [to Decker] You spend your life trying to catch people that you're never going to catch. My advice to you, go back to your hometown, open up an army naval store, you're a born clerk.
- Nurse Lewis: What did you say your friends name was again, please?
- Templeton Peck: Eh, Lothar Quint. With a Q. You've probably seen him on daytime soap operas. Had a big guest role on 'Search for Tomorrow'. Played a pro quarterback who turns psychic.Yeah, he was just marvelous.
- Col. Roderick Decker: Rendevouz there A.S.A.P. You obey the speed signs, captain, and I'll bust you down to your socks.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Lets get a move on. In the meantime, Face, you'd better renew your acquaintance with your old friend, eh... 'The Magnificent Templeton'.
- Garber: [reading a note] Oh, that's cute: lobsters are red, water is blue, put up your hands and look behind you.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [tapping his wristwatch] You know, we've been here almost an hour.
- Templeton Peck: Don't tell me what time it is! Tell me what a great plan you just thought of.
- "B.A." Baracus: [gets shoved by an MP] Watch it, sucker! I got a bad foot, you shove me again and I'll wrap that gun around your face.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: Decker finally caught something, Garber!
- [laughs]
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: I love it when a plan comes together.
- Col. Roderick Decker: [to Garber] I never agree with Colonel Smith but I find your protection racket to be about as low as he does.