- Harry Solomon: Dick, in order to be brave, you must first become afraid. For true courage lies in the overcoming of fear, not in its absence.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: That's beautiful. Who said that?
- Harry Solomon: Blue Power Ranger.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Shiver me timbers!
- Dr. Howard: So, Dick. Where are your buccaneers?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Under my buccan-hat!
- [everyone is dressed in Hallowe'en costumes]
- Mrs. Dubcek: Ah, Harry, you're an alien.
- Harry Solomon: [panicked at first] I am not! I mean, yes.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Intelligent people don't believe in ghosts.
- Harry Solomon: They don't believe in aliens, either.
- Tommy Solomon: Actually, Sally, uh, Hallowe'en is revered as the day when the graves yawn and the dead rise.
- Harry Solomon: Plus, you get to stick candy corns up your nose.
- Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, fudge! My lighter went down the air vent.
- Harry Solomon: Hey, here. I got some matches.
- Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, that would get me through this pack but what am I going to do for the rest of the night?
- Harry Solomon: Chain smoke.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Harry, look at me. I'm not afraid anymore. It's great, I feel like I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Anything, Harry, anything!
- Harry Solomon: Wow, Dick, you've just defeated your own fears. What are you going to do now?
- [parodying the Disney World commercials]
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I'm going for a routine check-up!