Spoons (2005– )

Kerry Godliman: Various Characters, Various characters

Quotes 

• Various characters : Ooh, you smell nice. Is that a new perfume?

  Various characters : No.

  Various characters : Well, you smell really nice.

  Various characters : Thanks.

  [pause] 

  Various characters : So, you obviously think that I honk like a pet shop the rest of the time. You really are an absolute jerk!

• Various characters : This tastes really good. Is it a new recipe?

  Various characters : Yeah.

  Various characters : It tastes really good.

  Various characters : Thanks.

  [pause] 

  Various characters : So you obviously think that everything else that I cook tastes like I've wiped my arse round the side of it. You really are an absolute jerk!

• Various characters : Is that a new top?

  Various characters : Yeah.

  Various characters : It looks good. It really suits you.

  Various characters : Thanks.

  [pause] 

  Various characters : So, you obviously think that I dress like your mum's jumble sale the rest of the time. You really are a fucking cunt!