- [trailer]
- Danny Bonaduce: I'm a train wreck, man. I'm a slow; pitiful train wreck, and you're welcome to watch me slowly go down.
- Danny Bonaduce: Gretchen, most men don't ask their wives to come to Vegas with them! You should be honored I asked you come with me.
- Gretchen Bonaduce: No.
- Danny Bonaduce: Why not? Why won't you come?
- Gretchen Bonaduce: I don't feel that I have to baby-sit you, Danny.