- Kathy Griffin: [about Brooke Sheild's wedding, when Terri Sheilds makes a toast] Then she says, "You know, I wasn't even invited to this wedding."
- [huge gasp from the audience]
- Kathy Griffin: Who has died and gone to heaven? Me.
- Kathy Griffin: [about treatment of women in the muslim culture] When the woman walks outside of her house without her burka on, these men would beat her with sticks until she goes back inside. So great for women.
- [pause]
- Kathy Griffin: PEACEFUL FARMERS! So they go back inside, probably to clean up the bucket of clits...
- [big reaction from the audience]
- Kathy Griffin: Aww! BAD KATHY! YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE! Right after you moved it!