Juno (2007)

Jason Bateman: Mark Loring

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mark Loring : Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff.

  Juno MacGuff : She gave you... your own room in... in your whole house? For your... for your stuff? Wow, she's got you on a long leash, Mark.

• Mac MacGuff : And this, of course, is Juno.

  Mark Loring : Like the city in Alaska?

  Juno MacGuff : No.

  Mark Loring : No? Hon, shall we sit down and get to know one another?

  Vanessa Loring : Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice or...

  Juno MacGuff : I'll have a Maker's Mark, please. Up.

  Mac MacGuff : She's kidding. Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor. Just one of her many genetic gifts.

• Mark Loring : So... Let's talk about how we're going to do this thing.

  Juno MacGuff : What do you mean? Don't I just have the thing? Squeeze it on out and hand it over?

  Gerta Rauss : Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption...

  Mac MacGuff : What do you mean?

  Juno MacGuff : Wait... No! I mean, can't we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?

  Mark Loring : Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament.

  Gerta Rauss : ...So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved?

  Juno MacGuff : SSHHIT! YES! Close it up!

• Vanessa Loring : You think you're really going to do this?

  Juno MacGuff : Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

  Vanessa Loring : That's great.

  Mark Loring : Keep it in the oven.

• Juno MacGuff : My dad had this weird obsession with Roman or Greek mythology or something and he decided to name me after Zeus' wife.

  Mark Loring : Zeus' wife?

  Juno MacGuff : Yeah and I mean Zeus had tons of lays but I'm pretty sure Juno was his only wife. And apparently she was supposed to be super beautiful but really mean, like Diana Ross.

• Mark Loring : [about Vanessa]  She just hates when I sit around watching movies and 'not contributing.'

  Juno MacGuff : I'll handle this. I'm really good at defusing mom-type rage.

• Mark Loring : Why does everyone think yellow is gender neutral? I never knew a guy with a yellow room.

• Juno MacGuff : [When Mark shows Juno one of his old comic books]  "Most Fruitful Yuki"? What is... Oh my god, she's a pregnant superhero!

  Mark Loring : Isn't that great? I got it when I was in Japan with my band. She reminds me of you.

  Juno MacGuff : Wow, I actually feel like less of a fat dork now.

  Mark Loring : Yuki is bad ass, man. You should be proud to be in the same condition.

• Vanessa Loring : What are you saying?

  Mark Loring : That it feels a little like bad timing.

  Vanessa Loring : What would be a good time for you, Mark?

  Mark Loring : There's just some things that I still want to do.

  Vanessa Loring : Like what? Be a rock star?

  Mark Loring : Don't mock me.

  Vanessa Loring : I'm just saying that this is - this is something that's never gonna happen. You know -Your shirt is stupid. Grow up. If I have to wait for you to become Kurt Cobain, I'm never gonna be a mother.

  Mark Loring : I never said I'd be a good father.

• Juno MacGuff : So, I've been spending a lot of time listening to that weird CD you made me.

  Mark Loring : Oh really? What's the verdict?

  Juno MacGuff : I sort of like it. I mean, it's cute.

  Mark Loring : Cute?

  Juno MacGuff : Well, when you're used to the raw power of Iggy and the Stooges, everything else sounds kind of precious by comparison.

• Mark Loring : [after Vanessa's asks him if he found an apartment]  It's not an apartment, it's a loft.

  Vanessa Loring : Well, aren't you the cool guy?

• Mark Loring : '93. I'm telling you that was the best time for rock and roll.

  Juno MacGuff : Nuh-uh, 1977! Punk Volume 1. You weren't there, so you can't understand the magic.

  Mark Loring : You weren't even alive!

• Mark Loring : [about painting the baby's nursery]  You could just wait a couple months. It's not like the baby's going to storm in here any second and demand dessert-colored walls.

  Vanessa Loring : What to Expect says that readying the baby's room is an important process for women. It's called "nesting."

  Mark Loring : Nesting, huh? Are you planning to build the crib out of twigs and saliva?

• Juno MacGuff : So have you and Vanessa thought of a name for the baby yet?

  Mark Loring : Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison for a girl.

  Juno MacGuff : Madison? Isn't that a little... gay?

• Mark Loring : [about the gender of the unborn baby]  Well, it can really only go two ways.

  Juno MacGuff : That's what you think. I drink tons of booze so you might get one of those scary neuter-babies that's born without junk.

  Mark Loring : Junk?

  Juno MacGuff : You know... its parts...

  Mark Loring : I know what junk is. We definitely want it to have junk.

  Juno MacGuff : Well don't worry about it. My step-mom is forcing me to eat really healthy. She won't even let me stand in front of the microwave or eat red M&M's.

• Mark Loring : I mostly work from home. I'm a composer

  Juno MacGuff : No shit. Like Johannes Brahms?

  Mark Loring : No, more commercial stuff

  Juno MacGuff : Like what?

  Mark Loring : Commercials.

• Mark Loring : [in reference to Juno's stretched out shirt due to pregnancy]  Wow! That shirt's workin' hard.

• Mark Loring : [to Juno]  You are so young.