AFI Life Achievement Award (TV Series)

AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to George Lucas (2005)

Carrie Fisher: Self

Quotes 

• Carrie Fisher : Hello, I'm Mrs. Han Solo and I'm an alcoholic.

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : I'm an alcoholic because... George Lucas ruined my life.

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : And I say that in the nicest possible way. 57 years ago, I did his little "Star Wars", a cult film that went on to redefine what they laughingly refer to as "the face of cinema". And now, 65 years later --

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : -- people are still asking me if I knew it was going to be that big of a hit. Yes! We knew. We all knew. The only one who didn't know was George. We kept it from him because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression.

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : George is a sadist.

  [audience laughs louder and longer] 

  Carrie Fisher : But like any abused child wearing a metal bikini chained to a giant slug about to die, I keep coming back for more.

  [audience laughing and clapping] 

  Carrie Fisher : Only a man = like George - could bring us whole new worlds populated by vivid extraordinary characters and providing Mark, Harrison and myself with enough fan mail and even a small merry band of stalkers --

  [audiences laughs uproariously] 

  Carrie Fisher : it's lovely -- keeping us entertained for the rest of our unnatural lives. George, the fact that you made me into a little doll that my first husband could stick pins into... a shampoo bottle where people could twist off my head and pour liquid out of my neck! "Lather up with Leia and you'll feel like a princess yourself!" And yes, the little PEZ dispenser so when my daughter Billie could pull my head back and pull a wafer out of my neck every time she doesn't want to do her homework, I suppose I don't mind! And though amongst your many possessions you have owned my likeness, lo all these years so that every time I look in the mirror, I have to send you a check for a couple of bucks.

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : Not to mention, you had the unmitigated gall to let *that chick*, the new girl who plays my mother, Queen "Armadillo" or whatever her name is. She wears a new hairstyle and outfit practically every time she walks through a door! I mean, I bet she even got to wear a bra, even though you told me I COULDN'T BECAUSE THERE WAS NO UNDERWEAR IN SPACE!

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : I'm only slightly bitter because you, my formerly silent friend, are an extraordinary talent and let's face it, an artist! The likes of which is seen perhaps once in a generation who helps define that generation and who deserves every award I now spend the latter half of my Leia-laden life helping to hurl your way! AND IN CONCLUSION, YOUR HONOR!

  [audience laughs] 

  Carrie Fisher : I HOPE I SLEPT WITH YOU TO GET THE JOB, BECAUSE IF NOT WHO THE HELL WAS THAT GUY?

  [audience laughs and applauds]