John Tucker Must Die (2006)

Patricia Drake: Coach Williams

Quotes 

• Coach Williams : Coach Claypoole is in the hospital, so we're combining all first period gym classes.

  [girls groan] 

  Coach Williams : Yeah, yeah, I know, we all hate each other.

• Basketball Coach : [sees John in the thong and Coach Williams holding John's ear]  What the hell?

  Coach Williams : I think this belongs to you, Coach. I found it in my bed.

  John Tucker : Coach, make her let go.

  Basketball Coach : [to Coach Williams]  Let go.

  [Coach Williams lets go of John's ear] 

  Basketball Coach : "Live and let live" is what I say, Tucker. Takes all kinds to build a freeway. But I am not equipped for this kind of weirdness THIS CLOSE TO THE PLAYOFFS!

  [spectators laugh and jeer. John is embarrassed. The basketball coach goes back into his room. John turns around and sees Kate] 

  Kate : I guess it was four instead of three. Sorry.

  [John goes back into his room, embarrassed] 

  Coach Williams : Show's over ladies. Back to your rooms.

  [to more spectators] 

  Coach Williams : Show's over! Back to your rooms.

• Carrie : You know what, that was no accident!

  [shoves Heather] 

  Heather : He's mine!

  [pushes Carrie] 

  Heather : Stay away from him!

  Carrie : Oh, you little brat!

  [slaps Heather] 

  Beth : [tries to break Carrie and Heather up]  Girls, peace and love! Come on! You guys are fighting over...

  Heather : There's nothing to be fight about! John Tucker's mine!

  Beth : [throws volleyball at Heather]  OH!

  Heather : What the hell is your problem?

  Beth : I am dating John Tucker.

  [Heather throws a volleyball at Beth but Beth ducks, it hits Kate instead. Carrie and Beth slap each other] 

  Coach Williams : [whistle blows]  Enough! Let's get back in the game.

  [Beth pushes Carrie, then Heather pushes Beth. Coach Williams tries to break up the fight. Carrie throws the volleyball that was supposed to get Beth and Heather, but gets Coach Williams instead. The crowd groans] 

  Coach Williams : Stop it, Beth!

  Carrie : Darn it, Coach! Let me at her!

  [Heather throws a bag of volleyballs at Beth, but gets Kate in the stomach instead] 

  Carrie : Just let me get through. Just let me get them!

  Coach Williams : Put those balls down!

  [Heather throws the same bag of volleyballs and hits Beth. Beth in return throws random volleyballs, one hitting Carrie and one hitting Kate. Then Beth rolls the whole cart of volleyballs and it knocks over Carrie, Heather, Kate, and Coach Williams like bowling pins. Beth lunges herself on Heather. Heather, Beth, and Carrie fight on the gym floor] 

  Kate : [blows Coach Williams' whistle]  This guy is cheating on all of you and instead of taking it out on him, you are beating the shit out of each other?

  Coach Williams : Language!

  [Coach Williams gets up, angrily] 

  Coach Williams : DETENTION! You, you, you, and YOU! Honestly...

  [points to Carrie, Beth, Heather, and Kate. Coach Williams leaves the scene disgusted. Even Kate beats a hasty retreat] 

  Beth : [peeved]  Who is that?

  Heather : I don't know. Pam Something.

• Coach Williams : [screams at John in her bed wearing a red thong-John screams back and falls off the bed]  You...

  John Tucker : I'm sorry!

  Coach Williams : ...little... MARCH!

  [grabs John by the ear and leads him outside the hallway of the hotel. Coach Williams blows her whistle loudly. Many onlookers stare at John wearing that red thong] 

  Teammate #1 : [sees John in that thong]  John, what are you wearing?

  Tommy : [sees John in that thong]  Dude, those are for ladies.

• Coach Williams : Jennifer, Allison, Molly, Sarah, Denise, and Kimmy? This side?

  Beautiful Girl #1 : My name is Lucretia.