"Die Geierwally" is a German/Austrian co-production from 2005, so this film has its 15th anniversary this year and what is even more shameful than the fact that this got made and released back then is the fact that this is still sown on national television here and there. Your GEZ money at work, folks. Stand up. Anyway, the Austrian impact in terms of production country comes from director Peter Sämann. The writer is Felix Huby. Both have had really long and prolific careers and are over 70 or even over 80 now and retired, so these almost 1.5 hours we got here are definitely among their later career efforts. However, experience may by one thing, talent is another and this is really the case with this duo here. They may have orked on a lot of projects over the years, but honestly the quality of almost each and every single one of these is truly low, so this film here was kinda doomed from the very beginning. Of course, it also needs to be added that this is originally based on a novel by Wilhelmine von Hillern and maybe it is a good thing that she died a long, long time before this movie got made. Actually, her tale got turned into film on several occasions and what we have here is definitely the latest occasion and also a definite contender for the worst occasion. I don't think anybody touched the script afterwards again. But maybe it's time. It's been quite a while since this movie and honestly, things could no go any worse than they did here. But what should one expect if Degeto as well as Ziegler get their hand on the material. Both are the epitome of production companies rushing out one trash movie after the next, frequently also sexist, i.e. anti-male, while acting as if what they come up with is great art. Ridiculous really. The photo is in fact very telling. You see actress Christine Neubauer, who is the epitome of a completely talentfree performer from my country. Yet she gets cast for lead roles again and again, well now not as much anymore as 15 years ago luckily as age seems to get the better of her. But she is absolutely terrible. Has 2-3 different face expressions in each movie and has a tendency to play the same character over and over again. Then again, can you really blame her. I mean she takes what she can get and she has to pay the bills too. The ones who really deserve the blame are directors and casting agents who keep picking her over more talented actresses, i.e. over pretty much everybody else out there. Anyway, as for the photo: You see an eagle. The name of the character is Geierwally. Which means "Vulture Wally" and in the book the animal somewhat at the center of the story is also a vulture. Not an eagle. However, vultures are not as pretty and majestic as eagles and I guess they had to go with something as pretty and majestic as Neubauer. Haha. You know how I mean it. So who cares about the story. Oh well, aren't there any grandsons or so, people blood-related to von Hillern who could have prevented this from getting made. Or at least from getting released. Those who invested money into this project deserve the loss.
Okay, now I will talk about a few specific moments and scenes that really made this a cringeworthy watch. Rauch and Feifel play character who have a major impact on Wally's life, for family reasons and romantic reasons. These two are also the only other two somewhat famous cast members here. Sadly, they have been in many trashy films too over the years, maybe not as many as Neubauer (especially Feifel), but still. Nothing to be proud of. You can say that all the emotional moments are a huge letdown because Neubauer simply goes over the top in the most cringeworthy manner, but does not come even close to nailing just one single scene of these more challenging sequences. On the contrary. It feels all fake and staged and for the sake of it. Be it the moment when her father beats her up (haha the makeup for the wounds was hilarious), be it the moment when Feifel's character goes away and she lets it all out tear-wise or be it the moment that she saves that bird very early on and another character says something like "what a woman". So cringe. Of course, the sexiat component I mentioned earlier is also not out for this film as a whole, even if it is not featured too frequently luckily. It was bad enough a watch for other reasons already. But one moment stays in the mind, namely when Neubauer's character says something like how a woman can also live and be happy without a man. And takes a bite afterwards with the most pseudo important face expression. I laughed. Not gonna lie. So it is not just the key story that sucks the way it was depicted here, but also the small moments. Of course, Neubauer is also one who convinces the other old man to help her with the bird thanks to her winning personality and in the end we also get the very forced and rushed happy ending. I mean I suppose there is just as much of a happy ending in the book, but I am sure it could never have been as bad as it is in this movie. The original writer must be turning in her grave. Wally is of course always 100% honest as we find out and just the perfect woman while still being incredibly humble (this exact description fits into every Neubauer movie really), the other woman's evil plan comes to face, ally makes peace with her dying father and of course she also bonds with Feifel's character and the two will become a couple again. Everything solved. No questions asked. Oh yes, there is more proof of anti-male propaganda. Of course, Feifel's character did not fight enough for Wally in the first place and he is a male ho cannot keep his pants up and so he had something with somebody else and of course it takes quite some time for Wally and a lot of courting from Feifel's character until she finally lets him in. Not physically. Emotionally. But it also made no sense at all pretty much. Like earlier she says that she does not love him and he does not love her and she will never get together with somebody in a scenario like that. Are we really supposed to believe both changed so drastically that it is all of a sudden a huge option again? Doubtful. But hey, Neubauer's Wally is such an amazing woman that every male ust has to fall in love with her. Let's quickly ignore the fact that she is twice as old as the character in the book I believe. So double boo to the casting agents. So unreal. Also the key idea of her father not being happy with Wally was handled in a very clumsy manner. How she is literally forced (physically at times even) to marry the man was depicted so unconvincingly that it almost hurt to watch. So no matter which perspective you take here, it's all a failure. The worst is even that, despite the beautiful region where the film is set, it was not even visually astounding whatsoever. Absence of talent and creativity in every field of production. A true stinker of a film. Highly not recommended.
Okay, now I will talk about a few specific moments and scenes that really made this a cringeworthy watch. Rauch and Feifel play character who have a major impact on Wally's life, for family reasons and romantic reasons. These two are also the only other two somewhat famous cast members here. Sadly, they have been in many trashy films too over the years, maybe not as many as Neubauer (especially Feifel), but still. Nothing to be proud of. You can say that all the emotional moments are a huge letdown because Neubauer simply goes over the top in the most cringeworthy manner, but does not come even close to nailing just one single scene of these more challenging sequences. On the contrary. It feels all fake and staged and for the sake of it. Be it the moment when her father beats her up (haha the makeup for the wounds was hilarious), be it the moment when Feifel's character goes away and she lets it all out tear-wise or be it the moment that she saves that bird very early on and another character says something like "what a woman". So cringe. Of course, the sexiat component I mentioned earlier is also not out for this film as a whole, even if it is not featured too frequently luckily. It was bad enough a watch for other reasons already. But one moment stays in the mind, namely when Neubauer's character says something like how a woman can also live and be happy without a man. And takes a bite afterwards with the most pseudo important face expression. I laughed. Not gonna lie. So it is not just the key story that sucks the way it was depicted here, but also the small moments. Of course, Neubauer is also one who convinces the other old man to help her with the bird thanks to her winning personality and in the end we also get the very forced and rushed happy ending. I mean I suppose there is just as much of a happy ending in the book, but I am sure it could never have been as bad as it is in this movie. The original writer must be turning in her grave. Wally is of course always 100% honest as we find out and just the perfect woman while still being incredibly humble (this exact description fits into every Neubauer movie really), the other woman's evil plan comes to face, ally makes peace with her dying father and of course she also bonds with Feifel's character and the two will become a couple again. Everything solved. No questions asked. Oh yes, there is more proof of anti-male propaganda. Of course, Feifel's character did not fight enough for Wally in the first place and he is a male ho cannot keep his pants up and so he had something with somebody else and of course it takes quite some time for Wally and a lot of courting from Feifel's character until she finally lets him in. Not physically. Emotionally. But it also made no sense at all pretty much. Like earlier she says that she does not love him and he does not love her and she will never get together with somebody in a scenario like that. Are we really supposed to believe both changed so drastically that it is all of a sudden a huge option again? Doubtful. But hey, Neubauer's Wally is such an amazing woman that every male ust has to fall in love with her. Let's quickly ignore the fact that she is twice as old as the character in the book I believe. So double boo to the casting agents. So unreal. Also the key idea of her father not being happy with Wally was handled in a very clumsy manner. How she is literally forced (physically at times even) to marry the man was depicted so unconvincingly that it almost hurt to watch. So no matter which perspective you take here, it's all a failure. The worst is even that, despite the beautiful region where the film is set, it was not even visually astounding whatsoever. Absence of talent and creativity in every field of production. A true stinker of a film. Highly not recommended.
