The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (TV Series 2005–2015) Poster

(2005–2015)

Craig Ferguson: Self - Host, Sid, Wavy Rancheros, Prince Charles, Michael Caine, Brian, George, Koala, Kronos, Nadine, Owl, Punxsutawney Phil

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Craig Ferguson and Josh Robert Thompson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Diedrich Bader and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Murray Cook, Craig Ferguson, Paul Paddick, and Greg Page in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Murray Cook, Craig Ferguson, Anthony Field, Paul Paddick, and Greg Page in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Jason Schwartzman, Craig Ferguson, Chris Hardwick, and Eliza Coupe in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Jeff Goldblum and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Emily Blunt in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Mila Kunis and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Brie Larson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Dwayne Johnson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Sophia Bush and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Rob Stewart in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Kristen Bell and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Rashida Jones in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Mary Lynn Rajskub in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Kristen Bell and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Stephen Fry and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Moon Bloodgood in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Moon Bloodgood in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson and Moon Bloodgood in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) Adam Goldberg and Craig Ferguson in The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005) 18 more photos

Quotes 

  • Craig Ferguson : [referring to Halloween or Friday the 13th]  Just a warning: If you're a bunch of sexy teenagers at a lake where other sexy teenagers were killed 30 years ago, leave! The guy in the forest with a hockey mask... maybe doesn't play hockey.

  • Craig Ferguson : I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch something on my birthday. I don't want it to be from the cake. If you know what I'm saying...

  • Craig Ferguson : Self help books are pointless. Here's something for you... Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and self help books are from Uranus.

  • Craig Ferguson : [Referring to Smokey the Bear]  Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger!

  • [signature repeated line, at the end of some jokes] 

    Craig Ferguson : I know!

  • Craig Ferguson : People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

  • Craig Ferguson : Ocean's 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn't want to see that? Well YOU, apparantly, 'cause you're watching me.

  • [Discussing the snake in the Garden of Eden] 

    Craig Ferguson : You know, I think there's a good rule of thumb here: Don't take nutritional advice from other species.

  • Craig Ferguson : [an e-mailer asked Craig why he doesn't grow a beard]  I have a beard. Just not on my face...

  • Craig Ferguson : [repeated line, at the start of the monologues]  It is a great day for America, and I'll tell you why.

  • [Craig is greeting the audience] 

    Craig Ferguson : Relax, you're among friends now. The long hard day is over and the roly-poly funny man is before you.

  • Craig Ferguson : Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!

  • Craig Ferguson : What we DO have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the "Shawshank Redemption" of late night!

  • [after using a swear word in a monologue, which is censored] 

    Craig Ferguson : They know what I'm saying, why don't you JUST LET ME SAY IT?

  • Craig Ferguson : Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.

  • Craig Ferguson : I only like sports that Bond villains played.

  • Craig Ferguson : [On '70s-era Scottish porn]  The sexy magazine in Britain in that time was called Club International. Club International: It was about as international as the International House of Pancakes. It should have been called Naked Cockney Girls with Scurvy.

  • Craig Ferguson : I KNOW that's not the right accent, but I can't DO the right accent. It's either the wrong accent or another Octomom joke.

  • Craig Ferguson : [holding up a black and white headshot of a guest]  He's in black and white here, but he'll be in color when he comes out.

  • Craig Ferguson : I can't live by your rules, man!

  • Craig Ferguson : Big props to my homie Mos Def.

  • Craig Ferguson : I enjoy bathing, as many Europeans don't.

  • Craig Ferguson : You know, where I come from, an antique, to be called an antique, it has to be at least a hundred years old. That's a law: before you can call something an antique, it has to be a hundred years old. In L.A., something that's been around for a couple of weeks is an antique. It's true! People are like, "Look at this old-fashioned iPod. Look at this! It's the size of a man's hand! Ha ha ha ha. Back then-back then, people thought Mel Gibson was just acting crazy. It was a very different time."

  • Craig Ferguson : It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

  • Craig Ferguson : I know what you're thinking: yet another late night talk show host accusing Neil Sedaka of being a war criminal.

  • [repeated line] 

    Craig Ferguson : [at the end of jokes]  Remind you of anyone?

  • [signature repeated line, at the end of some jokes] 

    Craig Ferguson : Call me, _celebrity name_.

  • Craig Ferguson : We don't hate giraffes here, we just put them in their place.

  • Craig Ferguson : I look forward to your letters

    [insert name or group] 

    Craig Ferguson : .

  • Craig Ferguson : That's not really wrestling. That's just throwing a snake.

  • [signature repeated line, at the end of some starting jokes] 

    Craig Ferguson : You too, ladies!

  • [repeated line] 

    Craig Ferguson : Come to my house!

  • [Craig is doing a "live rerun" that he claims is from September 4, 2007, about two years earlier. He has just read an email in which a viewer suggested Craig join a "crazy religion" to fit in with Hollywood. Craig pulls out his rattlesnake cup] 

    Craig Ferguson : Actually, it's now I want to talk to you about Snakeism. A few years ago - about September the 4th, 2007 - I got involved with a cult. And I'm still in them. We believe that snakes are awesome, and it's... cool to be strict with your pets.

    Craig Ferguson : [laughing]  And that's all we believe in!

  • Craig Ferguson : Even a chameleon needs the proper amount of suction.

  • Craig Ferguson : He's German so he's Herr Ball. Herr Ball. His movies are so bad, cats choke when they hear his name.

  • [Craig is comparing two coffee mugs] 

    Craig Ferguson : You notice, this cup is bigger than that cup. It's like a BRA!

  • [Commenting on the studio audience's upbeat reaction to his downbeat material] 

    Craig Ferguson : So it's a round of applause for stabbing myself in the testicle, FAILING, and the start of World War One!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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