Dieter (TV Movie 2006) Poster

(2006 TV Movie)

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4/10
Better than expected
Xentronium4 March 2006
Sure, this one isn't really a blockbuster, nor does it target such a position. "Dieter" is the first name of a quite popular German musician, who is either loved or hated for his kind of acting and thats exactly what this movie is about. It is based on the autobiography "Dieter Bohlen" wrote a few years ago but isn't meant to be accurate on that. The movie is filled with some sexual offensive content (at least for American standard) which is either amusing (not for the other "actors" of course) or dumb - it depends on your individual kind of humor or on you being a "Bohlen"-Fan or not. Technically speaking there isn't much to criticize. Speaking of me I find this movie to be an OK-movie.
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2/10
82 pointless minutes
fabian.seitz9 March 2006
Dieter Bohlen, Germany's notorious composer and producer of slightly trashy pop hits like "You're my heart, you're my soul" felt the need to tell his story - and gracefully he decided to hire a ghost writer. The result was a funny book about his life. Well, more or less a fuzzy image of it. He didn't deny that he is a selfish asshole but the whole story was twisted to fit his image of himself. No word that he has probably beaten up his former wife and she ended up in hospital. However it was written in a funny style and a huge success after his appearance as jury member of the German version of "American Idol" - especially his unforgettable comments.

This should be the end of the story - really. In the hype of the mentioned "Idol" TV show called "Deutschland sucht den Superstar" (abbreviated DSDS) somebody must have come up with the terrible idea to make a movie out of the book. The result is "Dieter - der Film"

I have rarely seen a movie which tries so desperately to be funny and fails so completely. None of the gags really hits the point. Naddel's voice and style of talking was getting on my nerves right away although Verona's voice should have done that more. Obvious, childish, predictable and lengthy gags destroy any motivation to watch this movie to the end within a few minutes. The content of the movie is a sloppy film adaption written sloppily down by a ghost writer based on Bohlen's sloppy idealized memory. They could have used this freedom to do almost everything. It was supposed to be a satire, but they failed. The story is totally uninteresting and the fact that the background voice is Bohlen himself guarantees that the whole film has nothing satirical at all.

It's no wonder that it was considered to bad for a cinema release. The probability that this thing would have rotten in some archive was quite high until recently when the current season of DSDS turned out to be a mediocre success. With the "friendly" help of Germany's biggest yellow press newspaper "BILD" and the desperate situation for the TV station RTL to have something in the program while the still unbeatable show "Wetten dass... ?" is running on Channel 2 the movie finally arrived in television - unfortunately.

Watching this movie is a waste of time - there are certainly better cartoons with much more fun and a story actually worth looking at.

Therefore: 2/10
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1/10
Even worse than feared
enigma-e11 March 2006
Admittedly, I watched this piece with already VERY low expectations. Dieter Bohlen is a rather untalented composer parvenu whose lack of talent is only surpassed by the size of his ego.

This was the first cartoon movie that I watched that was 100 per cent humor free. It is rude, offensive, redneck and blatantly anti- women. As such, it is a creation befitting Bohlen, but the average viewer will be rather put off by it. No wonder that it was never shown in a cinema theater: It would've bombed BIG time!

Not even the expense of 6.5 MegaEuros were able to save this utter piece of crap. Save your time... and money!
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2/10
Might appeal to those interested in the "bottom of the barrel" of the entertainment industry.
t_atzmueller11 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
If you're not from Germany, you've probably never heard of Dieter Bohlen. Consider yourself lucky. Guitarist-cum-producer Bohlen, together with singer Thomas Anders, had produced a couple of mediocre, but successful Pop songs under the guise of "Modern Talking" in the 80's; sort of "Milli Vanilli" crap that hasn't been caught.

The musician Bohlen would have been all but forgotten, had it not been for his hyper-inflated, borderline psychopathic ego, which made him a judge and leading force behind "Deutschland sucht den Superstar", Germany's answer to "American Idol". Imagine a blond version of Simon Cowell (they even look vaguely similar), just more mean-spirited and nepotistic. This success prompted Bohlen to write his memoirs, in which he's slinging dirt at anybody, dead or alive, who has ever crossed his path. And, savvy businessman that he is, Bohlen took the chance to turn said memoirs into a feature-length cartoon.

Long story made short: we witness Bohlens upbringing in a small North-German hamlet, rise to fame with "Modern Talking", break-up, relationships with alcoholic hanger-on girlfriends Nadel and marriage impostor Verona (both still haunt the German boulevard media to this day), reunion with Thomas Anders and Bohlen's ultimate descent to hell.

Stylistically, the cartoon is somewhere between "Werner" and "Das Kleine Arschloch" ("The Little Rectum"), meaning, it's crude, simple, lazily put together by some bored animator(s), without any of the merits of above mentioned toons.

The most important question: is it funny? Answer: no. Like above mentioned animations, it thrives on potty humour involving puking, passing winds and excrements, but has none of the wit. If anything, we must give Bohlen credit for being honest enough to admit that he's a "not a very nice person" (which is a kind description for a word beginning with "A" and ending with "hole").

2 from 10 points should do.
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7/10
Much better than expected
lanxspam21 March 2006
I think it's useless to comment on this film in English, since it will never be known outside central Europe. IMDb wants an English comment, so I'll post the German version in the forum.

Dieter Bohlen and his Ex-Wifes/Partners are a center of popular trash culture in Germany, where mediocre "artists" rule the headlines with their (sex)scandals and other self made "news". Just imagine kind of Ozzy Osborn divorcing from Paris-Hilton, and they publish every detail for years in talk shows, and write memoirs and finally their is a animated movie about these stories...

You see it's supposed to be the climax of modern TV-Crap.

I just zapped into the middle of the screening on TV and was very negative in advance. But then I found out I was laughing and giggling and never bored till the end. It's highly cynical and funny drawn and I'd love to see it again! The main reasons why most comments and ratings are negative is because people can't accept these trashy circumstances.

But _without_ prejudices it's simply good entertainment!

UPDATE: I just saw it completely, and I have to correct my rating from 8 to 7, the first 50% are not as funny as the second part.
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8/10
dieter Der film : funny facts
hanikingkong29 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
(taking deep breath) first thing, my review /opinion might contain spoilers here and there so keep that in mind,OK lets shoot here :

i am a longtime dieter Bohlen fan ,and i just bought the DVD unrated the DVD contain the movie and thats it no special features thats my ''criticism number 1 '' in real life he has a ''big ego problem'' and his latest 'D.S.D.S' productions sucked big time ,and didn't buy any of the ballad production albums for these stupid kids (except the talented Alexander Klaus ) but i still appreciate his early work as hardworking composer during MT and BS era ,plus the artists he worked with , and this dieter film just explained his life and music in 84 minutes !!!

its didn't do any justice, the writers squeezed the story with more of his ex-wives in a sarcastic dull way ,and with the evil Nora too ,besides,when i bought it in DVD format i didn't find English subtitles and thats '' my 2nd criticism ''.

now for the ''1st compliment'' the humor is''there'' ,and i enjoyed it , but that doesn't make dieter as a total saint ,the guy has his ups and downs even his book couldn't save him from people & the media

,still DB is funny in person and on TV ,everyone knows that ,and in the movie they played him as a funny character,i liked the way the showed his love in making music,i loved the (studio sessions scenes ),everyone loved these scenes,even some of my friend who were anti-Bohlen were laughing in some parts specially when forming MT ,plus we all wanted more artists to be there there like CCcatch ,bonnie Taylor ,systems in blue ,but for some reason only Thomas anders ,englebert''sorry?''humperdinck and of and unknown lady singing ''midnight lady '', man you gotta love ''studio 33'' scenes , also the sex scenes in Rambo's apartment and Rambo's cameo was sweet.

2nd compliment is the quality of the production itself , which i mean animation ,voice overs and the soundtrack all been put together in interesting was ,that the viewer wouldn't get bored during (a good technique with fast scene )

also the soundtrack over the introduction ,romantic scenes/dating,and ending music sound track were chosen beautifully ,

i would give this movie 8 of 10 , -------------- my general thoughts on the movie :

DB made this movie for his fans ONLY ----------- my review on some the negative reviews here :

I'm sure a lot of anti-dieter ''rappers'' didn't even say anything about the movie itself ,maybe i agree with whoever said the writers were ghosts (which means unexperienced writers ),hes totally right on the other hand most of the rappers ,immediatly started posting their poisons everywhere at the comment section acting like blind journalists (i expected that ),the reason ,they simply cant stand the guy and in the same time ,they posted here because 'they saw it ?'

they cant '' get it '' at all , silly rappers,

Dieter Bohlen .love him or hate him ,good music or bad music he's a money maker ,he can turn very product in to gold and we still have to pay and make him richer just like the movie and (just to remember the devil sign language his showed us at the end of this movie ) thats the real Bohlen and this is '' his film '' now get over it kiddie rappers
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6/10
Nothing to do today? Invite your friends, get some six-packs of cold beer and enjoy "Dieter - Der Film"
c-corleis14 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Did you know Dieter Bohlen? No? Congatulations! It is really better so ;-) Here in Germany he was very popular. Co-founder of the group "Modern Talking" in the 80s. "Modern Talking" is fortunately almost forgotten today, but Dieter Bohlen was still on TV, mostly in the annoying and superfluous game-shows "Deutschland sucht den Superstar", a show, in which (mostly) talentless boys and girls trying to became the great pop-star of tomorrow. Bohlen had no talent too, but he earned very much money with this absence of real talent during the 80s with sterile and artificial pop-songs. I think, this money turned him into a conceited show off. But Dieter's star is falling: This movie was intended to get a theatrical release, but after Bohlens new book about his life and career turned out as a flop, the movie was put aside and i think, a lot of people that was involved, tried to pretend that it did not exist. You may guess now, that i don't like Dieter Bohlen? Yes! You're got it right!!

So, when "Dieter - Der Film" was aired the other day here in Germany, i was not really eager to see it, but there was nothing better to find on the other TV-channels too . So, what now? Putting "The life of Brian" in the DVD-player again, or try "Dieter - Der Film"? I tried "Dieter...". And... i was positively surprised: It was not really bad at all. It is a animated movie that parody Dieter Bohlens career during the last 15-20 years. And it was fulfilled with a lot of gags. Not very subtle gags, it contains a lot of the "good old fashioned mayhem" that we know from Tex Avery and others. For example the many wives of Dieter, the most known are "Naddel" and Verona Feldbusch comes up here too... sometimes with breasts that have a atomic radiation label on it. Or Bohlen's partner, Thomas Anders, depicted as a very gay guy. Some funny spoofs of other movies are in it too: "Terminator", "The Lion King" and "Titanic" i have already reported to the IMDb. Another spoof of "Jurassic Park" comes up, when Anders girlfriend Nora entering the screen for the first time: The camera get a close up of a glass of water on the table, your hear the WOMMM....WOMMM...of her steps...and see the water surface vibrating... and, yes, Rambo appears as a guest-star too... Not all gags are of the first class, but looking the film, probably together with your friends and a accordingly amount of cool beer near your couch, is not wrong at all.
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7/10
Dieters life as an animated feature - better than you expect.
BobMorane7 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
"Dieter - Der Film" is the first animated TV movie directed by Michael Schaack (together with Toby Genkel) who was very successful at the German box office in the last fifteen years with the "Werner" movies and "Kleines Arschloch", from which he is now doing a sequel.

"Dieter -Der Film" deals with the life of Dieter Bohlen, a worldwide famous German musician and producer. From his childhood in Oldenburg and his first steps in the show business to the rise and fall of his band "Modern Talking", his affairs with women and the marriage with Verona Feldbusch (who starred in "Driven") to the reunion of "Modern Talking", this movie captures the important events in the life of the former judge of "Deutschland sucht den Superstar", the German version of "American Idol".

The animation is very fine and reminds you sometimes of the "Werner" movies. The voices also fit quite good to their real life examples. The humor is not as crude as in "Kleines Arschloch" or "Werner", but still funny because the movie shows Bohlens life in an overstated way.

If you do not like or even hate Dieter Bohlen, his music and the story of his life you probably won't like this movie but if you do not or do not care of Dieter Bohlen at all this movie will entertain you quite well.
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6/10
Not as bad as you may think it is Warning: Spoilers
"Dieter" is an animated German movie from 2006. It runs for comfortably under 1.5 hours and is the most known work for both writers here, but not for the two directors who have also been prolific with the Werner Beinhart franchise. I liked that one and I like this film here as well as the approach is somewhat similar in terms of story-telling and animation. It is "only" a small screen release, but it could also have deserved a big screen release in my opinion. This is basically a Dieter Bohlen biopic, even if some parts were left out completely or almost completely. One example would be the protagonist's first marriage and the three children that were the result. And DSDS, Bohlen's long-running trademark show, also already existed back on 2006 for a couple years, but is not part of this movie. So it is a bit on the incomplete side. Instead, the focus is mostly on Bohlen's ill-fated relationships with Naddel and Verona Feldbusch as well as his tumultuous yet highly successful work relationship with Thomas Anders (and his wife Nora).

I think many people who don't like this movie would argue that Bohlen is not a character who deserves his own biopic, but I disagree. He has sure gone through a whole lot in his life (he turned 63 this year) and there is enough material in here. Sure you could say that stuff like a broken penis is nothing that makes a difference or plays a role to anybody except himself, but this is exactly the point. It played a major role to himself and thus deserves being included in here. I also wrote earlier already that I like the Werner films and yes the approach here is very similar. Also the film does not know any taboos at all as you probably already realize from what I just wrote in the last sentence and that's excellent as we don't need any further politically correct garbage. I also think that this film has solid attention to detail, for example when it comes to the animations of minor characters in the background. They don't just stand there, but still move and do something, even if it does not really add anything to the story. I myself would not really call myself a fan of Bohlen and definitely not of his talent casting show, but there is no denying he made a lot of correct decisions in his life, financially and artistically, and the consequence is that virtually everybody here in Germany knows him, even if they may not like him. But this also may have to do with jealousy a bit. And after all, in terms of his show, the fish needs to like the bait, not the fisherman, so can you really blame Bohlen or RTL for what they are doing if millions of people suck it in every week?

Anyway, back to this movie, Bohlen himself is the narrator and he has many lines, which is a nice addition and makes perfectly up for the fact that Bohlen does not do his own voice, it even gives a more autobiographical take to it all. With he exception of Völz and Harry Wijnvoord voicing the devil LOL (still these two only have one scene each), there are no known actors listed for this project, but that's perfectly fine as this doesn't mean they aren't doing a good job. On the contrary. The voice acting worked well together with the animation in my opinion. There were many funny scenes and this film never tries to be something it couldn't achieve. Even the more serious moments about Bohlen's childhood or his father's words still have some kind of lightness to them and matter anyway only to Bohlen himself. The movie is never preaching. But it is frequently funny. I recommend checking it out and regardless of you like it or not, there is no denying it is among the most famous German animated films of all time, even if I can see why some of the people depicted in there probably did not like it. But maybe it is just too honest? Go see it.
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